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Dave Barry

"The Democrats seem to be basically nicer people, but they have demonstrated time and again that they have the management skills of celery."

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"The Democrats seem to be basically nicer people, but they have demonstrated time and again that they have the management skills of celery."

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Donna Grant

"We cannot measure time. We can only measure changes of life and the universe."

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Personal Development

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Donna Grant

"I wouldn't ask too much of her,' I ventured. 'You can't change the past.''Can't change the past?' he cried incredulously. 'Why of course you can!"

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Personal Development

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Donna Grant

"Life is a bubble in the ocean of time. At the same time, it can hold all the water of the ocean in her heart."

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Personal Development

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Donna Grant

"Wouldn't it be amazing if you could travel into the future, see where you messed up, and then go back in time to rearrange things in order to make your future better? You can. If you can foresee regret, you can mind-travel to the future. If you can train yourself to mind-travel effectively, you can intentionally affect your future by doing something about it today."

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Personal Development

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Donna Grant

"A broad margin of leisure is as beautiful in a man's life as in a book. Haste makes waste, no less in life than in housekeeping. Keep the time, observe the hours of the universe, not of the cars."

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Personal Development

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Donna Grant

"God had infinite time to give us.... He cut it up into a near succession of new mornings and with each therefore a new idea new inventions and new applications."

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Personal Development

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Donna Grant

"Time is the greatest and longest-established spinner of all. ... His factory is a secret place his work noiseless and his hands are mutes."

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Personal Development

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Donna Grant

"Eternity is a mere moment, just long enough for a joke."

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Personal Development

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Donna Grant

"The value of time is immeasurable."

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Personal Development

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Donna Grant

"Sometimes I feel like if you just watch things, just sit still and let the world exist in front of you - sometimes I swear that just for a second time freezes and the world pauses in its tilt. Just for a second. And if you somehow found a way to live in that second, then you would live forever."

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Personal Development

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Dave Barry
"We journalists make it a point to know very little about an extremely wide variety of topics; this is how we stay objective."

Society

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Dave Barry
"Life is anything that dies when you stomp on it."

Life

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Dave Barry
"It always rains on tents. Rainstorms will travel thousands of miles, against prevailing winds for the opportunity to rain on a tent."

Travel

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Dave Barry
"I am not the only person who uses his computer mainly for the purpose of diddling with his computer."

Purpose

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Dave Barry
"Fishing is boring, unless you catch an actual fish, and then it is disgusting."

Humor

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Dave Barry
"And so by the fifteenth century, on October 8, the Europeans were looking for a new place to try to get to, and they came up with a new concept: the West."

Society

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Dave Barry
"American consumers have no problem with carcinogens, but they will not purchase any product, including floor wax, that has fat in it."

Humor

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Dave Barry
"As a child, I was more afraid of tetanus shots than, for example, Dracula."

Humor

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Dave Barry
"I would not know how I am supposed to feel about many stories if not for the fact that the TV news personalities make sad faces for sad stories and happy faces for happy stories."

Society

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Dave Barry
"Violence and smut are of course everywhere on the airwaves. You cannot turn on your television without seeing them, although sometimes you have to hunt around."

Television

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