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Dave Barry

"To better understand why you need a personal computer, let's take a look at the pathetic mess you call your life."

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"To better understand why you need a personal computer, let's take a look at the pathetic mess you call your life."

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Donna Grant

"The condition you're in at this moment is the product of your previous thoughts, to change your condition, change your thoughts."

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Donna Grant

"Instead of clinging to the only Lifeboat that can save, we have tossed overboard biblical truths in the name of [compromise], living on the edge of life, like the man who rides the parameter of a hurricane, daring it to sweep him away."

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Donna Grant

"There is always a path to our target, the problem is to discover it!"

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Donna Grant

"Collect memories, they are your precious property."

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Donna Grant

"From a cleansed conscience emerges a changed life."

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Donna Grant

"Simple things have greater power than the complicated things!"

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Donna Grant

"If he did not speak his tale, it grew dank and musty, it shrank inside him, while with the telling the tale stayed fresh and virtuous."

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Donna Grant

"Abundance in life comes from generosity."

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Donna Grant

"To live in bliss, love everything, including people, unconditionally."

Explore more quotes by Dave Barry

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Dave Barry
"We journalists make it a point to know very little about an extremely wide variety of topics; this is how we stay objective."
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Dave Barry
"Life is anything that dies when you stomp on it."
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Dave Barry
"It always rains on tents. Rainstorms will travel thousands of miles, against prevailing winds for the opportunity to rain on a tent."
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Dave Barry
"I am not the only person who uses his computer mainly for the purpose of diddling with his computer."
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Dave Barry
"Fishing is boring, unless you catch an actual fish, and then it is disgusting."
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Dave Barry
"And so by the fifteenth century, on October 8, the Europeans were looking for a new place to try to get to, and they came up with a new concept: the West."
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Dave Barry
"American consumers have no problem with carcinogens, but they will not purchase any product, including floor wax, that has fat in it."
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Dave Barry
"As a child, I was more afraid of tetanus shots than, for example, Dracula."
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Dave Barry
"I would not know how I am supposed to feel about many stories if not for the fact that the TV news personalities make sad faces for sad stories and happy faces for happy stories."
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Dave Barry
"Violence and smut are of course everywhere on the airwaves. You cannot turn on your television without seeing them, although sometimes you have to hunt around."
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