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Quotes by Comedian
"Of, course it always cheers a news editor when a story has what we describe as 'legs' therefore it, erm, runs."
News,
28
"We've been swimming at nude beaches and I love to go skinny dipping, but I'm sorry, sitting on top of a mountain, that's just, you're trying to show off or something. That's ridiculous."
28
"If you do a scene and you really like a character in it or a premise in it to write it down and to work on it so that you can have five or six characters that you can pull out in an audition."
28
"I'd distract myself until finally it was a combination of things. The show was over and I had time on my hands. I had taken time and played and just relaxed."
Time,
28
"They are just really stupid people in Hollywood. You write them a script, and they say they love it, they absolutely love it. Then they say, 'But doesn't it need a small dog, and an Eskimo, and shouldn't it be set in New Guinea?' And you say, 'But it is a sophisticated romantic comedy set in Paris.'"
28
"I think the Clintons are brilliant. I've never met a person as intelligent as Bill, and I think Hillary is right up there with him. They're too smart for Washington."
28
"It's not like some movies where you're following a bunch of different stories you can cut around. There was nowhere to cut to. It's these guys. We're not cutting back to anybody else."
28
"And the goal really is to make the audience laugh, to bring them some joy."
28
"Science is the refusal to believe on the basis of hope."
28
"Before I met my husband, I'd never fallen in love. I'd stepped in it a few times."
28
"Let's be very honest about what this is about. It's not about bashing Democrats, it's not about taxes, they have no idea what the Boston tea party was about, they don't know their history at all. This is about hating a black man in the White House. This is racism straight up."
28
"You're encouraged to pitch your own story. That way, you'll have more control over what you do."
28
"Well, the way things are going, aside from wheat and auto parts, America's biggest export is now the Oscar."
28
"Field of Dreams is the only movie - and I saw it in the theater - on an afternoon when I was on location somewhere, and there were like 12 people in the theater. I was just so devastated; I couldn't get out of my seat. And I sat and watched it a second time."
28
"I'm thirty years old, but I read at the thirty-four-year-old level."
28
"With good parody, you have to be smarter that the people you're parodying."
28
"People always ask me, "Where were you when Kennedy was shot?" Well, I don't have an alibi."
28
"That is the saving grace of humor, if you fail no one is laughing at you."
28
"I find it difficult to judge myself, but people say that I have become a bit more socially acceptable over the years in terms of my material; which apparently at the beginning - though I never really intended it to be - was man hating and now is just a bit more cuddly."
28
"The doctor's name was Sylvia. I told her she'd have a problem with me because Sylvia was my mother's name."
28
"I was with a famous comedian when a young fan walked up and asked for an autograph. The comedian blew him off. I'll never forget the look on the young boy's face. He was devastated."
28
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