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"It's tough to stay married. My wife kisses the dog on the lips, yet she won't drink from my glass."

Rodney Dangerfield, American Comedian
Wife, Kisses
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"It's tough to stay married. My wife kisses the dog on the lips, yet she won't drink from my glass."

Explore more quotes by Rodney Dangerfield

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"My marriage is on the rocks again, yeah, my wife just broke up with her boyfriend."
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"I looked up my family tree and found three dogs using it."
Family, Dogs
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"Acting deals with very delicate emotions. It is not putting up a mask. Each time an actor acts he does not hide; he exposes himself."
Time, Acting, Actor, Deals
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"Life is just a bowl of pits."
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"If it wasn't for pick-pockets I'd have no sex life at all."
Life, Sex
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"I'm at the age where food has taken the place of sex in my life. In fact, I've just had a mirror put over my kitchen table."
Age, Food, Life, Sex
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"I worked in a pet store and people would ask how big I would get."
Pet, People
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"I went to a fight the other night, and a hockey game broke out."
Fight, Night
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"I was so ugly my mother used to feed me with a sling shot."
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"I told my wife the truth. I told her I was seeing a psychiatrist. Then she told me the truth: that she was seeing a psychiatrist, two plumbers, and a bartender."
Wife, Truth

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"I prefer the word 'homemaker' because 'housewife' always implies that there may be a wife someplace else."

Bella Abzug, American Lawyer
Wife, May, Word
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"I am a quick study - I can memorize a script in an hour - but I can't remember a name three seconds. I've even forgotten my wife's name on occasion."

Don Adams, American Comedian
Wife, Name, Quick, Study
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"A psychiatrist asks a lot of expensive questions your wife asks for nothing."

Joey Adams, American Comedian
Wife, Nothing, Questions
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"Johns Hopkins introduced me to two defining events in my life: commitment to biomedical research and meeting my future wife, Mary."

Peter Agre, American Scientist
Wife, Commitment, Events, Future
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"I have sons, and they have never said the word hell in front of me or my wife. That's the truth."

Danny Aiello, American Actor
Wife, Truth, Hell, Sons
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"Most nights I end up wearing a wife beater T-shirt and boxers."

Jessica Alba, American Actress
Wife, End
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"My wife and I have always trusted each other, and I have to thank her strength."

Anthony Anderson, American Actor
Wife, Strength
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"Roman's wife Sharon Tate had been murdered by Charles Manson the year before, but Roman had been through so much leaving the Warsaw ghetto that he was very strong and private."

Francesca Annis, English Actress
Wife,
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"I'd much rather be famous for being a fabulous bitch than being, She does that nice wife really well."

Christine Baranski, American Actress
Wife, Being, Famous
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"Every man who is high up likes to think that he has done it all himself, and the wife smiles and lets it go at that."

James M. Barrie, British Playwright
Wife, Man, Smiles
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