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"It's tough to stay married. My wife kisses the dog on the lips, yet she won't drink from my glass."

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"It's tough to stay married. My wife kisses the dog on the lips, yet she won't drink from my glass."

Explore more quotes by Rodney Dangerfield

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"My marriage is on the rocks again, yeah, my wife just broke up with her boyfriend."
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"I looked up my family tree and found three dogs using it."
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"Acting deals with very delicate emotions. It is not putting up a mask. Each time an actor acts he does not hide; he exposes himself."
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"Life is just a bowl of pits."
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"If it wasn't for pick-pockets I'd have no sex life at all."
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"I'm at the age where food has taken the place of sex in my life. In fact, I've just had a mirror put over my kitchen table."
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"I worked in a pet store and people would ask how big I would get."
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"I went to a fight the other night, and a hockey game broke out."
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"I was so ugly my mother used to feed me with a sling shot."
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"I told my wife the truth. I told her I was seeing a psychiatrist. Then she told me the truth: that she was seeing a psychiatrist, two plumbers, and a bartender."

Exlpore more Wife quotes

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"I prefer the word 'homemaker' because 'housewife' always implies that there may be a wife someplace else."

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"I am a quick study - I can memorize a script in an hour - but I can't remember a name three seconds. I've even forgotten my wife's name on occasion."

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"A psychiatrist asks a lot of expensive questions your wife asks for nothing."

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"Johns Hopkins introduced me to two defining events in my life: commitment to biomedical research and meeting my future wife, Mary."

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"I have sons, and they have never said the word hell in front of me or my wife. That's the truth."

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"Most nights I end up wearing a wife beater T-shirt and boxers."

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"My wife and I have always trusted each other, and I have to thank her strength."

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"Roman's wife Sharon Tate had been murdered by Charles Manson the year before, but Roman had been through so much leaving the Warsaw ghetto that he was very strong and private."

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"I'd much rather be famous for being a fabulous bitch than being, She does that nice wife really well."

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"Every man who is high up likes to think that he has done it all himself, and the wife smiles and lets it go at that."

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