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"I am proud to be an American. Because an American can eat anything on the face of this earth as long as he has two pieces of bread."
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"The income tax has made liars out of more Americans than golf."
Author Name
Personal Development
"How far you can go without destroying from within what you are trying to defend from without?"
Author Name
Personal Development
"So in our pride we ordered for breakfast an omelet, toast and coffee and what has just arrived is a tomato salad with onions, a dish of pickles, a big slice of watermelon and two bottles of cream soda."
Author Name
Personal Development
"The whole Indian thing, I always say it's really the American holocaust. It's something we need to look at."
Author Name
Personal Development
"Actually, today I had to defend the Bush Administration in France again. They refuse to accept, because of their political ideology, that he has actually done more than any American President for Africa. But it's empirically so."
Author Name
Personal Development
"All of the books in the world contain no more information than is broadcast as video in a single large American city in a single year. Not all bits have equal value."
Author Name
Personal Development
"I like The White Stripes and I like the kinda twang American thing right now."
Author Name
Personal Development
"Elvis Presley, The Everly Brothers, and a lot of American artists were my greatest influences."
Author Name
Personal Development
"I'm very aware when I'm speaking to the English of how flat my Mid-Atlantic American voice is."
Author Name
Personal Development
"American audiences tend to be more expressive than British ones."
Author Name
Personal Development
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"Women don't want to hear what you think. Women want to hear what they think - in a deeper voice."
Woman
"Decide that you want it more than you are afraid of it."
Want
"The truth is that parents are not really interested in justice. They just want quiet."
Truth
"Human beings are the only creatures on earth that allow their children to come back home."
Home
"If the new American father feels bewildered and even defeated, let him take comfort from the fact that whatever he does in any fathering situation has a fifty percent chance of being right."
Father
"You can turn painful situations around through laughter. If you can find humor in anything, even poverty, you can survive it."
Humor
"Let us now set forth one of the fundamental truths about marriage: the wife is in charge."
Wife
"Having a child is surely the most beautifully irrational act that two people in love can commit."
Love
"I am proud to be an American. Because an American can eat anything on the face of this earth as long as he has two pieces of bread."
American
"No matter how calmly you try to referee, parenting will eventually produce bizarre behavior, and I'm not talking about the kids. Their behavior is always normal."
Parenting
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