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"I am proud to be an American. Because an American can eat anything on the face of this earth as long as he has two pieces of bread."
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"Americans are very friendly and very suspicious, that is what Americans are and that is what always upsets the foreigner, who deals with them, they are so friendly how can they be so suspicious they are so suspicious how can they be so friendly but they just are."

"There are actually quite high profile British TV star cameos in it that you probably wouldn't even notice, that the British wouldn't even notice, let alone the American audience."

"I have made more friends for American culture than the State Department. Certainly I have made fewer enemies, but that isn't very difficult."

"When we write, we complement each other. We wrote six songs, Barry and I, while Robin was ill during the American tour, and they were terrible until Robin came back, and then everything worked out."

"I remember the Curia said, that's up to the American bishops, not up to Rome."

"It would not be fair to the critics of Rotary, who include some of the most brilliant of the British and American writers, to charge them with prejudice."
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"Nothing I've ever done has given me more joys and rewards than being a father to my children."

"Like everyone else who makes the mistake of getting older, I begin each day with coffee and obituaries."

"I am certainly not an authority on love because there are no authorities on love, just those who've had luck with it and those who haven't."

"No matter how calmly you try to referee, parenting will eventually produce bizarre behavior, and I'm not talking about the kids. Their behavior is always normal."

"My childhood should have taught me lessons for my own fatherhood, but it didn't because parenting can only be learned by people who have no children."
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