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"All I know about humor is that I don't know anything about it."

Fred Allen, American Comedian

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"All I know about humor is that I don't know anything about it."

Exlpore more Humor quotes

"If it weren't for the last minute nothing would get done."

Anonymous, Unknown Unknown

Humor, Procrastination, Delay, Action

"When you love someone, you don't care that she ate your sandwich. You only hope she found it delicious."

Richelle E. Goodrich, American Poet

Humor, Love, Happiness, Today, Truth

"Some kleptomaniacs do not steal things only; they also, while some only, steal lovers."

Mokokoma Mokhonoana, South African Philosopher

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"You know, Aunt Tasha makes jokes about how youE1d actually be a better queen than the others, except sometimes . . . I donE1t think sheE1s joking."

Richelle Mead, American Author

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"A tie is what you get after ice cubes have wrestled with hot water."

Mokokoma Mokhonoana, South African Philosopher

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"Zombies are far better than religious people, because they do not discriminate in killing."

M.F. Moonzajer, Afghan Author

Humor, Zombies, Religion, Violence, Equality

"Your party kicked so much ass!Even though you suck so much! It's like, instead of blood, your heart pumps liquid suck! But thanks for the beer!"

John Green, American Author

Humor, Social, Truth, Life

"Some people make spectacles of themselves with a couple of glasses."

Anonymous, Unknown Unknown

Humor, Behavior, Society, Life

"I've stopped drinking, but only while I'm asleep."

George Best, Irish Athlete

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"Everyone has a sense of humor. If you don't laugh at jokes, you probably laugh at opinions."

Criss Jami, American Philosopher

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Explore more quotes by Fred Allen

"A celebrity is a person who works hard all of their life to become well known, and then wears dark glasses to avoid being recognized."

Life, Being, Celebrity

"I always have trouble remembering three things: faces, names, and - I can't remember what the third thing is."

Faces, Names, Trouble

"An income tax form is like a laundry list - either way you lose your shirt."

"Some movie stars wear their sunglasses even in church. They're afraid God might recognize them and ask for autographs."

God, Church, Stars

"I can't understand why a person will take a year to write a novel when he can easily buy one for a few dollars."

"The advertising world had space men in it before spacemen existed."

Men, Advertising, Space, World

"Washington is no place for a good actor. The competition from bad actors is too great."

Actor, Actors, Competition, Washington

"An advertising agency is 85 percent confusion and 15 percent commission."

Advertising, Confusion

"Treat employees like partners, and they act like partners."

"My father never raised his hand to any one of his children, except in self-defense."

Father, Children, Self

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