"All I know about humor is that I don't know anything about it."

Humor,

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"All I know about humor is that I don't know anything about it."

Exlpore more Humor quotes

"I've accepted the fact I have mental illness but when my imaginary friends start calling me crazy that's where I draw the line."

Stanley Victor Paskavich, American Politician

Humor, Mental, Friend, Imagination

"Crap, are you thinking what I'm thinking?""I'm thinking we have about fifteen vampires and no blood," Claire said. "Is that it?""No, I was thinking we're out of chips. Of course that's what I was thinking."

Rachel Caine, Canadian Actress

Humor, Blood, Survival, Friendship

"Got a lot of sinful idears--but they seem kinda sensible."

John Steinbeck, American Author

Humor, Sin, Idea, Truth

"Laughter comes later, like wisdom teeth. And laughter at yourself comes last of all in a mad race with death. And sometimes, it isn't in time."

John Steinbeck, American Author

Humor, Laughter, Wisdom, Mortality

"Never stay up on the barren heights of cleverness, but come down into the green valleys of silliness."

Ludwig Wittgenstein, Austrian Philosopher

Humor, Cleverness

"I wonder what fool it was that first invented kissing."

Jonathan Swift, Irish Writer

Humor, First, Fool, Kissing, Wonder

"If they gave him an enema, he could be buried in a matchbox."

Anonymous, Unknown Unknown

Humor, Death, Sarcasm, Mortality

"Name the greatest of all inventors: Accident."

Mark Twain, American Author

Humor, Accident, Creativity, Surprise

"Pessimist - one who when he has the choice of two evils chooses both."

Oscar Wilde, Irish Dramatist

Humor, Pessimism, Evil, Choice, Irony

"Pardon my French if you're a religious man.''I am,' Bill said, grinning.'Then get outta my cab and go to fucking church,' the cabbie said, and they both burst out laughing."

Stephen King, American Author

Humor, Faith, Truth, Wisdom

Explore more quotes by Fred Allen

"I play a musical instrument a little, but only for my own amazement."

Play

"Radio is a bag of mediocrity where little men with carbon minds wallow in sluice of their own making."

Men

"Ed Sullivan will be around as long as someone else has talent."

Talent

"Imitation is the sincerest form of television."

Imitation

"My father never raised his hand to any one of his children, except in self-defense."

Father

"A committee is a group of the unprepared, appointed by the unwilling to do the unnecessary."

Committee

"An income tax form is like a laundry list - either way you lose your shirt."

Tax

"During the Samuel Johnson days they had big men enjoying small talk; today we have small men enjoying big talk."

Men

"What's on your mind, if you will allow the overstatement."

Mind

"A gentleman is any man who wouldn't hit a woman with his hat on."

Gentleman