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"The Afghan government is as corrupt as a prostitute with a law degree."
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"Pure honesty" is dead in a jungle of eternal, bloody impunity, rampant corruption and dirty politics."
"Humans do worse things with money rather than for money."
"It is my expectation that if I call 911 for the police that I will be blatantly harassed."
"It has been my personal experience that the government engages in a wide range of frauds with the common people."
"To survive in a corrupt country, you need to be the son of a king or be king yourself."
"I think we need to start with Philadelphia and make sure that we actually get some election reform in Philadelphia. Actually, a recent election was thrown out by a federal judge because of corruption with the voting process in Philadelphia."
"The devil would be powerless if he couldn't entice people to do his work. So as long as money continues to seduce the hungry, the hopeless, the broken, the greedy, and the needy, there will always be war between brothers."
"The USA legal system is designed to enrich lawyers, protect the government and corporations, and shaft the general public."
"Obviously, a lot of people involved with Volkswagen's emissions were aware of the diesel car software cheat. One has to wonder how many of them tried to stop it and perhaps were demoted or lost their jobs over trying to prevent the secret Volkswagen car emissions fraud?"
Explore more quotes by Craig Ferguson
"Allowances can always be made for your friends to disagree with you. Disagreement, vehement disagreement, is healthy. Debate is impossible without it. Evil does not question itself, only hope questions itself. Even the incorruptible are corruptible if they cannot accept the possibility of being mistaken. Infallibility is a sin in any man. All laws can be broken and are. Often. Like when a bumblebee flies or an ancient regime is toppled."
"That's why Credit card companies are evil. Are they sponsoring the show tonight? ... They are Evil."
"I was ambitious and desperate to direct my first film, so I capitulated and blew it. Never again. Never fucking again."
"The truth is that Leon, like a lot of those - maybe everyone - who trips on acid, never really came back. he recovered but he was never the same guy again. He had lost something - innocence of hell. Acid presses a little button in your mind that should never be pressed"
"School did give me one of the greatest gifts of my life, though. I learned how to read, and for that I remain thankful. I would have died otherwise. As soon as I was able, I read, alone. Under the covers with a flashlight or in my corner of the attic - I sought solace in books. It was from books that I started to get an inkling of the kinds of assholes I was dealing with. I found allies too, in books, characters my age who were going through or had triumphed against the same bullshit."
"Anyone who's just driven 90 yards against huge men trying to kill them has earned the right to do Jazz hands."
"I do love America. And LA is a very short commute to America its like half an hour on the plane."
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