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Irony Quotes

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"With the persistent loud voice, fool asks us to respect serenity."
Toba Beta
"With the persistent loud voice, fool asks us to respect serenity."
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"There is a way of reacting to insult that gives people the impression that you want more. I don't know what it is, but I seem to have mastered it."
Joyce Rachelle
"There is a way of reacting to insult that gives people the impression that you want more. I don't know what it is, but I seem to have mastered it."
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"Irony: When those who call others a 'threat to Christianity' reject the crucial tenets of their own faith themselves."
Christina Engela
"Irony: When those who call others a 'threat to Christianity' reject the crucial tenets of their own faith themselves."
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"A peaceful refuge in which to rediscover each other, we thought,, not realizing that, while golf and fishing are Scotland's most popular outdoor sports, gossip is the most popular indoor sport."
Diana Gabaldon
"A peaceful refuge in which to rediscover each other, we thought,, not realizing that, while golf and fishing are Scotland's most popular outdoor sports, gossip is the most popular indoor sport."
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"I asked this heroic pet lover how it felt to have died for a schnauzer named Teddy. Salvador Biagiani was philosophical. He said it sure beat dying for absolutely nothing in the Viet Nam War."
Kurt Vonnegut
"I asked this heroic pet lover how it felt to have died for a schnauzer named Teddy. Salvador Biagiani was philosophical. He said it sure beat dying for absolutely nothing in the Viet Nam War."
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"I'm sure the universe is full of intelligent life. It's just been too intelligent to come here."
Arthur C. Clarke
"I'm sure the universe is full of intelligent life. It's just been too intelligent to come here."
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"If there were a master of stupidity in this world, I would really love to listen to his success story."
Toba Beta
"If there were a master of stupidity in this world, I would really love to listen to his success story."
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"The happiness of the superficial: when a man who has lost his donkey finds it again."
Idries Shah
"The happiness of the superficial: when a man who has lost his donkey finds it again."
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"No, I do my torturing in the dungeon like any other respectable castle owner."
Jeaniene Frost
"No, I do my torturing in the dungeon like any other respectable castle owner."
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"One of the cool chaste countries - Canada or Sweden."
John Updike
"One of the cool chaste countries - Canada or Sweden."
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"His name is Tyson? I hate to break it to you, but you dated a brand of chicken."
Gena Showalter
"His name is Tyson? I hate to break it to you, but you dated a brand of chicken."
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"I have a business appointment that I am anxious... to miss."
Oscar Wilde
"I have a business appointment that I am anxious... to miss."
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"If you were going to shoot a mime, would you use a silencer?"
Steven Wright
"If you were going to shoot a mime, would you use a silencer?"
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"What a moron I was to think you were sweet and innocent, when it turns out you were actually college-educated the whole time!"
Margaret Atwood
"What a moron I was to think you were sweet and innocent, when it turns out you were actually college-educated the whole time!"
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"Absence makes the heart grow fonder, but tequila makes it so she doesn't give a shit if she's fond of you are not."
Lois Greiman
"Absence makes the heart grow fonder, but tequila makes it so she doesn't give a shit if she's fond of you are not."
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"Do you get the irony? Who is now talking about, who ain't serious? Oh, we gonna do that and that and that and that? Yeah, yeah You just wanna trick me one more time."
Deyth Banger
"Do you get the irony? Who is now talking about, who ain't serious? Oh, we gonna do that and that and that and that? Yeah, yeah You just wanna trick me one more time."
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"You're right, my problems are the biggest problems ever," George said. "No, honestly, it's horrible to be me. I'm rich, talented, and I make girls cry.""How do you make girls cry, exactly?"George turned to her. His blue eyes widened. His lovely face took on a forlorn, deeply troubled expression. He leaned forward, and, in a theatrical whisper, said, "My past is tragic. I wouldn't want to burden you with it. It's a pain I must suffer alone. In the rain. In silence."
Ilona Andrews
"You're right, my problems are the biggest problems ever," George said. "No, honestly, it's horrible to be me. I'm rich, talented, and I make girls cry.""How do you make girls cry, exactly?"George turned to her. His blue eyes widened. His lovely face took on a forlorn, deeply troubled expression. He leaned forward, and, in a theatrical whisper, said, "My past is tragic. I wouldn't want to burden you with it. It's a pain I must suffer alone. In the rain. In silence."
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"And it never even occurs to them their certainty that they are different is what makes them the same."
David Foster Wallace
"And it never even occurs to them their certainty that they are different is what makes them the same."
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"And what's the irony?...In the end... we call the enemy friends... the fake people again friends... should I continue here with the words?"
Deyth Banger
"And what's the irony?...In the end... we call the enemy friends... the fake people again friends... should I continue here with the words?"
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"I have forgotten all about my school days. I have a vague impression that they were detestable."
Oscar Wilde
"I have forgotten all about my school days. I have a vague impression that they were detestable."
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"Searching through Monster.com while on the clock feels like being on Tinder while still married."
Crystal Woods
"Searching through Monster.com while on the clock feels like being on Tinder while still married."
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"It is only because of their stupidity that they are able to be so sure of themselves."
Franz Kafka
"It is only because of their stupidity that they are able to be so sure of themselves."
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"Parents drinking is the reason you came into the world, and if we didn't keep doing it then, by God, it would be the reason you went back out of it."
Caitlin Moran
"Parents drinking is the reason you came into the world, and if we didn't keep doing it then, by God, it would be the reason you went back out of it."
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"The worst thing about irony for me is that it attenuates emotion."
David Foster Wallace
"The worst thing about irony for me is that it attenuates emotion."
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"Bless you with the curse to remain busy always."
Amit Abraham
"Bless you with the curse to remain busy always."
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"Maybe knowledge is power, but it ain't nearly as as satisfying as punching some smart ass in the chops."
Lois Greiman
"Maybe knowledge is power, but it ain't nearly as as satisfying as punching some smart ass in the chops."
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"Her smile, which was her pretty feature, was never so pretty as when her sprightly phrase had a scratch lurking in it."
Henry James
"Her smile, which was her pretty feature, was never so pretty as when her sprightly phrase had a scratch lurking in it."
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"Boston is a moral and intellectual nursery always busy applying first principles to trifles."
George Santayana
"Boston is a moral and intellectual nursery always busy applying first principles to trifles."
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"It is not true that the English invented cricket as a way of making all other human endeavors look interesting and lively, that was merely an unintended side effect."
Bill Bryson
"It is not true that the English invented cricket as a way of making all other human endeavors look interesting and lively, that was merely an unintended side effect."
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"People who always arrive early aren't worth waiting for."
Crystal Woods
"People who always arrive early aren't worth waiting for."
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"I wonder if they were aware of the power of complimentary alcohol during World War I."
Pawan Mishra
"I wonder if they were aware of the power of complimentary alcohol during World War I."
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"Don't underestimate the value of irony-it is extremely valuable."
Henry James
"Don't underestimate the value of irony-it is extremely valuable."
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"Charlie whistled 'Amazing Grace' as he drove. It was all I could do not to whip my head around and snap, Are you kidding me? Couldn't he pick something more appropriate, like 'Shout at the Devil' or 'Don't fear the Reaper'? Some people had no sense of the proper music for a kidnapping."
Jeaniene Frost
"Charlie whistled 'Amazing Grace' as he drove. It was all I could do not to whip my head around and snap, Are you kidding me? Couldn't he pick something more appropriate, like 'Shout at the Devil' or 'Don't fear the Reaper'? Some people had no sense of the proper music for a kidnapping."
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"I am the most pious person in the room. Even though I have no pie - I have pizza, and what can be more virtuous than eating all by yourself?"
Will Advise
"I am the most pious person in the room. Even though I have no pie - I have pizza, and what can be more virtuous than eating all by yourself?"
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"It is the oldest ironies that are still the most satisfying: man, when preparing for bloody war, will orate loudly and most eloquently in the name of peace."
Alan Moore
"It is the oldest ironies that are still the most satisfying: man, when preparing for bloody war, will orate loudly and most eloquently in the name of peace."
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"Certainly it constitutes bad news when the people who agree with you are buggier than batshit."
Philip K. Dick
"Certainly it constitutes bad news when the people who agree with you are buggier than batshit."
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"Flowers and jewelry worked for most girls as a romantic gesture, but here I was, misty-eyed at watching him show my mother how to stab the shit out of him."
Jeaniene Frost
"Flowers and jewelry worked for most girls as a romantic gesture, but here I was, misty-eyed at watching him show my mother how to stab the shit out of him."
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"I always think it's funny when Indians celebrate Thanksgiving. I mean, sure, the Indians and Pilgrims were best friends during the first Thanksgiving, but a few years later, the Pilgrims were shooting Indians.So I'm never quite sure why we eat turkey like everybody else."
Sherman Alexie
"I always think it's funny when Indians celebrate Thanksgiving. I mean, sure, the Indians and Pilgrims were best friends during the first Thanksgiving, but a few years later, the Pilgrims were shooting Indians.So I'm never quite sure why we eat turkey like everybody else."
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"I think this goes more to the idea of 'relentless irony' than 'divine providence."
Donna Tartt
"I think this goes more to the idea of 'relentless irony' than 'divine providence."
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"I'd kill for a Nobel Peace Prize."
Steven Wright
"I'd kill for a Nobel Peace Prize."
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"If warm air rises, Heaven could be hotter than Hell."
Steven Wright
"If warm air rises, Heaven could be hotter than Hell."
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"Some victories are merely defeat wearing the wrong clothing."
Kiersten White
"Some victories are merely defeat wearing the wrong clothing."
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"Look innocent. Have hope. "Okay. "And remember "What? "Even O.J. Simpson was acquitted."
Kenneth Eade
"Look innocent. Have hope. "Okay. "And remember "What? "Even O.J. Simpson was acquitted."
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