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Lois Greiman

"Maybe knowledge is power, but it ain't nearly as as satisfying as punching some smart ass in the chops."

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"Maybe knowledge is power, but it ain't nearly as as satisfying as punching some smart ass in the chops."

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Amber Hurdle

"Irony, we want our handwriting to look like typed fonts, and our computer fonts to look like handwritten text."

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Amber Hurdle

"If there were a master of stupidity in this world, I would really love to listen to his success story."

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Amber Hurdle

"I don't understand this irony - valuable things like cars, gold, diamond are made up of hard materials but most valuable things like money, contracts and books are made up of soft paper."

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Amber Hurdle

"With the persistent loud voice, fool asks us to respect serenity."

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Amber Hurdle

"There's stranger sex than sex with strangers."

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Amber Hurdle

"I am the most pious person in the room. Even though I have no pie - I have pizza, and what can be more virtuous than eating all by yourself?"

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Amber Hurdle

"The worst thing about irony for me is that it attenuates emotion."

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Amber Hurdle

"I think this goes more to the idea of 'relentless irony' than 'divine providence."

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Amber Hurdle

"Absence makes the heart grow fonder, but tequila makes it so she doesn't give a shit if she's fond of you are not."

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Amber Hurdle

"His name is Tyson? I hate to break it to you, but you dated a brand of chicken."

Explore more quotes by Lois Greiman

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Lois Greiman
"Absence makes the heart grow fonder, but tequila makes it so she doesn't give a shit if she's fond of you are not."
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Lois Greiman
"Today's problems are yesterday's mistakes coming back to bite you in the ass."
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Lois Greiman
"Maybe curiosity did kill your cat. But it wouldn't hurt to keep an eye on the neighbor's rottweiler just the same."
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Lois Greiman
"In the beginning God made the seas, the mountains, the heavens, and buffalo knees. He made lilies, and dew drops, and snail shells, and roses, and dippers, and yappers, and snappers, and noses."
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Lois Greiman
"Even choosing the perfect dinner wine loses its earth-shattering importance if your guests happen to be cannibals, and you, the unsuspecting entree."
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Lois Greiman
"Women have to be in the mood for sex. Men have to be breathing."
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Lois Greiman
"When men age they're called sophisticated. When women age they ain't called at all."
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Lois Greiman
"I'd rather be pissed off then pissed on."
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Lois Greiman
"A person without regrets is called a corpse."
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Lois Greiman
"Old-age sucks, but the alternative doesn't look that great, either."
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