"Searching through Monster.com while on the clock feels like being on Tinder while still married."

Irony, Work, Escape, Humor

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"Searching through Monster.com while on the clock feels like being on Tinder while still married."

Exlpore more Irony quotes

"Do you get the irony? Who is now talking about, who ain't serious? Oh, we gonna do that and that and that and that? Yeah, yeah You just wanna trick me one more time."

Deyth Banger, American Blogger

Irony, Truth, Power, Wisdom

"I have forgotten all about my school days. I have a vague impression that they were detestable."

Oscar Wilde, Irish Dramatist

Irony, School, Memory, Regret, Youth

"It is only because of their stupidity that they are able to be so sure of themselves."

Franz Kafka, Austrian Novelist

Irony, Ignorance, Confidence, Stupidity, Arrogance

"Brain research tells us that only twenty percent of human beings have a sense of irony, which means that eighty percent of the world takes everything at face value."

Doug Coupland, Canadian Author

Irony, Research, Sense, Value

"The policeman isn't there to create disorder; the policeman is there to preserve disorder."

Richard J. Daley, American Politician

Irony, Disorder

"If there were a master of stupidity in this world, I would really love to listen to his success story."

Toba Beta, Indonesian Author

Irony, Wisdom, Truth, Humor, Stupidity

"Sometimes life has a cruel sense of humor, giving you the thing you always wanted at the worst time possible."

Lisa Kleypas, American Novelist

Irony, Time, Desire, Life

"Irony, we want to dance like robots and want robots to dance like us."

Vikrmn, Indian Author

Irony, Dance, Technology, Humanity

"Some victories are merely defeat wearing the wrong clothing."

Kiersten White, American Author

Irony, Victory, Defeat, Perception

"It is the oldest ironies that are still the most satisfying: man, when preparing for bloody war, will orate loudly and most eloquently in the name of peace."

Alan Moore, British Writer

Irony, War, Peace, Speech

Explore more quotes by Crystal Woods

"Even before we met and long after we're both gone, my heart lives inside of yours. I'm forever and ever in love with you."

Infinite

"I had a dream that Mark Wahlberg and his wife were our neighbors and we had dance parties in our living room and drank wine from Solo cups. I remember being confused as to why they lived in a regular neighborhood, or why it didn't seem to make anyone awkward that I had Marky's Calvin ads up in the living room."

Fantasy

"I had a dream about you last night. You set a timer on in the bathroom to prove how long it takes me to get ready. So I shaved your legs, made up your face and gave you lashes. An hour later you thanked God for not making you a woman."

Empathy

"As we get older, it matters less where you are and more who you're with."

Companionship

"You either learn to play hard ball or you become the ball."

Survival

"I had a dream about you last night. I was writing a 'Sex for dummies-Christians That Secretly What to be Porn Stars- 1st edition.' And you helped me with the illustrations."

Humor

"To all those who care, You can't forever. Time steals the years,And your reflection in the mirror.But I can still see the story in your eyes, And your timeless passion that's never died.While your skin became tired,Your heart became strong,The present became the past,And your memories like a song.And though the moment at hand is all that we have, You've taught me to live it like it is our last.Since two words don't say 'thank you' the way they are meant to,I'll try all my life to be something like you."

Gratitude

"I guess I just grew up thinking that when we become adults, we get to do what we love. For work, for fun, forever. I don't know where I got that from. Seems silly now."

Maturation

"I had a dream about you last night. You were at my door. We had forgotten what we used to fight about. So, I let you in and we made coconut pancakes like it was the very first time."

Love

"I'm passing the bar Where you first got in my car I'm not ashamed to admit That it's you I won't forget I saved your cigarettes andBad habits I regret But the hours flew by like cloudsWhenever I had you around Parachute loverTake me awayFrom the plane that went crashing And the earth that's in flamesSaving you is saving me High above the redwood treesBut down below I see shadows And parachute debris We're drifting like children Along for the rideEach time we find love Another parachute arrivesOur madness will burn As bright as the sunAnd I'll keep finding lovers But you were the one."

Romance