"Searching through Monster.com while on the clock feels like being on Tinder while still married."

Irony, Work, Escape, Humor

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"Searching through Monster.com while on the clock feels like being on Tinder while still married."

Exlpore more Irony quotes

"I have forgotten all about my school days. I have a vague impression that they were detestable."

Oscar Wilde, Irish Dramatist

Irony, School, Memory, Regret, Youth

"If there were a master of stupidity in this world, I would really love to listen to his success story."

Toba Beta, Indonesian Author

Irony, Wisdom, Truth, Humor, Stupidity

"Sometimes life has a cruel sense of humor, giving you the thing you always wanted at the worst time possible."

Lisa Kleypas, American Novelist

Irony, Time, Desire, Life

"Irony, we want to dance like robots and want robots to dance like us."

Vikrmn, Indian Author

Irony, Dance, Technology, Humanity

"Some victories are merely defeat wearing the wrong clothing."

Kiersten White, American Author

Irony, Victory, Defeat, Perception

"It is the oldest ironies that are still the most satisfying: man, when preparing for bloody war, will orate loudly and most eloquently in the name of peace."

Alan Moore, British Writer

Irony, War, Peace, Speech

"A peaceful refuge in which to rediscover each other, we thought,, not realizing that, while golf and fishing are Scotland's most popular outdoor sports, gossip is the most popular indoor sport."

Diana Gabaldon, American Author

Irony, Gossip, Community, Illusion, Expectation

"Apologize: To lay the foundation for a future offence."

Ambrose Bierce, American Journalist

Irony, Apology, Offense, Future

"It is not true that the English invented cricket as a way of making all other human endeavors look interesting and lively, that was merely an unintended side effect."

Bill Bryson, American Writer

Irony, Humor, Tradition, Sports

"With the persistent loud voice, fool asks us to respect serenity."

Toba Beta, Indonesian Author

Irony, Truth, Power, Wisdom

Explore more quotes by Crystal Woods

"As we get older, it matters less where you are and more who you're with."

Companionship

"I had a dream about you last night. I was writing a 'Sex for dummies-Christians That Secretly What to be Porn Stars- 1st edition.' And you helped me with the illustrations."

Humor

"To all those who care, You can't forever. Time steals the years,And your reflection in the mirror.But I can still see the story in your eyes, And your timeless passion that's never died.While your skin became tired,Your heart became strong,The present became the past,And your memories like a song.And though the moment at hand is all that we have, You've taught me to live it like it is our last.Since two words don't say 'thank you' the way they are meant to,I'll try all my life to be something like you."

Gratitude

"I'm passing the bar Where you first got in my car I'm not ashamed to admit That it's you I won't forget I saved your cigarettes andBad habits I regret But the hours flew by like cloudsWhenever I had you around Parachute loverTake me awayFrom the plane that went crashing And the earth that's in flamesSaving you is saving me High above the redwood treesBut down below I see shadows And parachute debris We're drifting like children Along for the rideEach time we find love Another parachute arrivesOur madness will burn As bright as the sunAnd I'll keep finding lovers But you were the one."

Romance

"When nothing is at stake, everything's a waste."

Purpose

"People who always arrive early aren't worth waiting for."

Irony

"Sometimes, as in a game of chess, we must strategically regress so that we might progress toward our ultimate objective."

Strategy

"Even if most days can't be half as good as today, it's days like this that make it all worth it."

Gratitude

"I'm a Texas girl, with a California soul."

Identity

"Madeleine Albright says, "There is a special place in hell for women who don't help other women. I wonder what happens to women who bully other women."

Feminism