"Searching through Monster.com while on the clock feels like being on Tinder while still married."

Irony, Work, Escape, Humor

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"Searching through Monster.com while on the clock feels like being on Tinder while still married."

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"And it never even occurs to them their certainty that they are different is what makes them the same."

David Foster Wallace, American Writer

Irony, Identity, Arrogance, Self

"Irony, we want our handwriting to look like typed fonts, and our computer fonts to look like handwritten text."

Vikrmn, Indian Author

Irony, Writing, Design, Preference

"If there were a master of stupidity in this world, I would really love to listen to his success story."

Toba Beta, Indonesian Author

Irony, Wisdom, Truth, Humor, Stupidity

"What a moron I was to think you were sweet and innocent, when it turns out you were actually college-educated the whole time!"

Margaret Atwood, Canadian Novelist

Irony, Deception, Innocence, Mistake, Regret

"I don't understand this irony - valuable things like cars, gold, diamond are made up of hard materials but most valuable things like money, contracts and books are made up of soft paper."

Amit Kalantri, Indian Author

Irony, Values, Wealth, Gold

"With the persistent loud voice, fool asks us to respect serenity."

Toba Beta, Indonesian Author

Irony, Truth, Power, Wisdom

"There's stranger sex than sex with strangers."

Kris Kidd, American Writer

Irony, Humor, Relationship, Desire

"Charlie whistled 'Amazing Grace' as he drove. It was all I could do not to whip my head around and snap, Are you kidding me? Couldn't he pick something more appropriate, like 'Shout at the Devil' or 'Don't fear the Reaper'? Some people had no sense of the proper music for a kidnapping."

Jeaniene Frost, American Author

Irony, Humor, Music, Danger

"Irony: When those who call others a 'threat to Christianity' reject the crucial tenets of their own faith themselves."

Christina Engela, South African Author

Irony, Faith, Threat, Rejection, Contradiction

"I am the most pious person in the room. Even though I have no pie - I have pizza, and what can be more virtuous than eating all by yourself?"

Will Advise, Bulgarian Author

Irony, Humor, Food, Absurdity

Explore more quotes by Crystal Woods

"You make me feel like I am everywhere when I am right here, completely still with you."

Presence

"When reality and your dreams collide, typically it's just your alarm clock going off."

Reality

"I'm passing the bar Where you first got in my car I'm not ashamed to admit That it's you I won't forget I saved your cigarettes andBad habits I regret But the hours flew by like cloudsWhenever I had you around Parachute loverTake me awayFrom the plane that went crashing And the earth that's in flamesSaving you is saving me High above the redwood treesBut down below I see shadows And parachute debris We're drifting like children Along for the rideEach time we find love Another parachute arrivesOur madness will burn As bright as the sunAnd I'll keep finding lovers But you were the one."

Romance

"Even before we met and long after we're both gone, my heart lives inside of yours. I'm forever and ever in love with you."

Infinite

"What you think, what you eat, and what you see today, shapes who you will be tomorrow."

Habits

"It's hard to say which I like more, the perfectly happy days or the hours right after we've ended a good fight."

Relationship

"I'm a Texas girl, with a California soul."

Identity

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Exlpore more Irony quotes

"And it never even occurs to them their certainty that they are different is what makes them the same."

"Irony, we want our handwriting to look like typed fonts, and our computer fonts to look like handwritten text."

"If there were a master of stupidity in this world, I would really love to listen to his success story."

"What a moron I was to think you were sweet and innocent, when it turns out you were actually college-educated the whole time!"

"I don't understand this irony - valuable things like cars, gold, diamond are made up of hard materials but most valuable things like money, contracts and books are made up of soft paper."

"With the persistent loud voice, fool asks us to respect serenity."

"There's stranger sex than sex with strangers."

"Charlie whistled 'Amazing Grace' as he drove. It was all I could do not to whip my head around and snap, Are you kidding me? Couldn't he pick something more appropriate, like 'Shout at the Devil' or 'Don't fear the Reaper'? Some people had no sense of the proper music for a kidnapping."

"Irony: When those who call others a 'threat to Christianity' reject the crucial tenets of their own faith themselves."

"I am the most pious person in the room. Even though I have no pie - I have pizza, and what can be more virtuous than eating all by yourself?"

Explore more quotes by Crystal Woods

"I'll share my life with you. But, not my doughnuts."

"She lives like tomorrow isn't coming and yesterday never happened."

"He said I'm the winning lottery ticket, like he's never meant anything more."

"You make me feel like I am everywhere when I am right here, completely still with you."

"When reality and your dreams collide, typically it's just your alarm clock going off."

"Even before we met and long after we're both gone, my heart lives inside of yours. I'm forever and ever in love with you."

"What you think, what you eat, and what you see today, shapes who you will be tomorrow."

"It's hard to say which I like more, the perfectly happy days or the hours right after we've ended a good fight."

"I'm a Texas girl, with a California soul."