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"I have forgotten all about my school days. I have a vague impression that they were detestable."
Author Name
Personal Development
"I have a business appointment that I am anxious... to miss."
Author Name
Personal Development
"Certainly it constitutes bad news when the people who agree with you are buggier than batshit."
Author Name
Personal Development
"And what's the irony?...In the end... we call the enemy friends... the fake people again friends... should I continue here with the words?"
Author Name
Personal Development
"Boston is a moral and intellectual nursery always busy applying first principles to trifles."
Author Name
Personal Development
"You're right, my problems are the biggest problems ever," George said. "No, honestly, it's horrible to be me. I'm rich, talented, and I make girls cry.""How do you make girls cry, exactly?"George turned to her. His blue eyes widened. His lovely face took on a forlorn, deeply troubled expression. He leaned forward, and, in a theatrical whisper, said, "My past is tragic. I wouldn't want to burden you with it. It's a pain I must suffer alone. In the rain. In silence."
Author Name
Personal Development
"I think this goes more to the idea of 'relentless irony' than 'divine providence."
Author Name
Personal Development
"It is only because of their stupidity that they are able to be so sure of themselves."
Author Name
Personal Development
"I wonder if they were aware of the power of complimentary alcohol during World War I."
Author Name
Personal Development
"Absence makes the heart grow fonder, but tequila makes it so she doesn't give a shit if she's fond of you are not."
Author Name
Personal Development
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"It is far better to know the painful truth than to live with a kindly falsehood."
Honesty
"Today's problems are yesterday's mistakes coming back to bite you in the ass."
Consequences
"A wedding is no way to begin a marriage."
Time
"Absence makes the heart grow fonder, but tequila makes it so she doesn't give a shit if she's fond of you are not."
Irony
"Maybe knowledge is power, but it ain't nearly as as satisfying as punching some smart ass in the chops."
Irony
"When men age they're called sophisticated. When women age they ain't called at all."
Aging
"I'd love to go out with you, but I'd hate to deprive some village of its idiot."
Insult
"Jealousy. It's a terrible thing. Unless it's someone else's."
Envy
"Love makes the world go around, but so does a gallon of vodka and a box of Cuban cigars."
Love
"If men were necessary in the procreation process, they'd have gone the way of the dodo bird long ago."
Satire
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