"I am the most pious person in the room. Even though I have no pie - I have pizza, and what can be more virtuous than eating all by yourself?"

Irony, Humor, Food, Absurdity

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"I am the most pious person in the room. Even though I have no pie - I have pizza, and what can be more virtuous than eating all by yourself?"

Exlpore more Irony quotes

"I don't understand this irony - valuable things like cars, gold, diamond are made up of hard materials but most valuable things like money, contracts and books are made up of soft paper."

Amit Kalantri, Indian Author

Irony, Values, Wealth, Gold

"Sandar came to stand beside him, frowning down at the crumpled High Lord. "He does not look so mighty lying there," he said wonderingly. "He does not look so much greater than me.""

Robert Jordan, American Author

Irony, Pride, Fall, Perception, Power

"In any case, a little danger is a small price to pay for ridding a place of tourists."

Tahir Shah, British Author

Irony, Danger, Freedom, Risk

"Alas, Siddhartha, I see you suffering, but you're suffering a pain at which one would like to laugh, at which you'll soon laugh for yourself."

Hermann Hesse, German Novelist

Irony, Suffering, Humor, Love, Emotion

"That is correct," Zeus said. "The blood of Olympus was spilled. She is fully conscious.""Oh, come on!" Percy complained. "I get a little nosebleed and I wake up the entire earth? That's not fair!"

Rick Riordan, American Novelist

Irony, Humor, Truth, Power, Regret

"I can barely read my hand written notes, typed."

J.R. Rim, American Author

Irony, Humor, Writing, Observation

"A tree fears an axe even though its handle is made from it."

Matshona Dhliwayo, Zimbabwean Philosopher

Irony, Tree, Axe, Handle, Fear

"The worst thing about irony for me is that it attenuates emotion."

David Foster Wallace, American Writer

Irony, Emotion, Distance, Feeling

"Flowers and jewelry worked for most girls as a romantic gesture, but here I was, misty-eyed at watching him show my mother how to stab the shit out of him."

Jeaniene Frost, American Author

Irony, Romance, Humor, Violence

"You're right, my problems are the biggest problems ever," George said. "No, honestly, it's horrible to be me. I'm rich, talented, and I make girls cry.""How do you make girls cry, exactly?"George turned to her. His blue eyes widened. His lovely face took on a forlorn, deeply troubled expression. He leaned forward, and, in a theatrical whisper, said, "My past is tragic. I wouldn't want to burden you with it. It's a pain I must suffer alone. In the rain. In silence."

Ilona Andrews, American Writer

Irony, Humor, Ego, Self-Awareness

Explore more quotes by Will Advise

"I want to be the most unsold, and the most unsought-after author, after I stop selling my fake name anagrams on the internet."

Creativity

"With all the global warming going around nowadays, it would only take the stubbornness of a mule and the patience of a sitting duck to achieve what no man has ever done before " namely melt the ice in a wax figure's beaten heart that was chopped off and hidden 50 meters under the polar ice caps in Alaska, to protect it from feeling."

Motivation

"If I did sales - my technique would be to hand-seal each deal with gourmet omelets, by Jarod Kintz's secret invisible recipe that I stole."

Sales

"When I battle wits with Jarod Kintz I always feel like I need to take my brain out to give him a transplant. Bad part is we don't have any."

Wit

"An imaginary friend once asked me why Americans can't stand Russia. The answer was cold, deadly, silent, and, well expected. It's because in Soviet Russia nothing happens anymore, because it doesn't exist anymore. And Americans are all about happenings. If there isn't one " they don't go where it isn't, because there isn't anything to happen to them there."

Satire

"I wonder how Japan's futuristic robot doctors will treat the worst and most widespread disease humanity already has - artificially lowered IQ. Making people stupider makes them buy more stuff " so 'How many robots can you afford? will be the big question of one of the following decades, unless we go back to Communism and produce everything for the sake of it, for free."

Future

"If I were offering hip replacement services I'd use Jarod Kintz as my spokesman. No one can possibly be better than him, to replace the missing spoke in your wheels."

Humor

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Exlpore more Irony quotes

"I don't understand this irony - valuable things like cars, gold, diamond are made up of hard materials but most valuable things like money, contracts and books are made up of soft paper."

"Sandar came to stand beside him, frowning down at the crumpled High Lord. "He does not look so mighty lying there," he said wonderingly. "He does not look so much greater than me.""

"In any case, a little danger is a small price to pay for ridding a place of tourists."

"Alas, Siddhartha, I see you suffering, but you're suffering a pain at which one would like to laugh, at which you'll soon laugh for yourself."

"That is correct," Zeus said. "The blood of Olympus was spilled. She is fully conscious.""Oh, come on!" Percy complained. "I get a little nosebleed and I wake up the entire earth? That's not fair!"

"I can barely read my hand written notes, typed."

"A tree fears an axe even though its handle is made from it."

"The worst thing about irony for me is that it attenuates emotion."

"Flowers and jewelry worked for most girls as a romantic gesture, but here I was, misty-eyed at watching him show my mother how to stab the shit out of him."

Explore more quotes by Will Advise

"I want to be the most unsold, and the most unsought-after author, after I stop selling my fake name anagrams on the internet."

"To share is just to align with a person."

"People decided that trees have no feelings."

"Love is always more than friendship."

"If I did sales - my technique would be to hand-seal each deal with gourmet omelets, by Jarod Kintz's secret invisible recipe that I stole."

"When I battle wits with Jarod Kintz I always feel like I need to take my brain out to give him a transplant. Bad part is we don't have any."

"If I were offering hip replacement services I'd use Jarod Kintz as my spokesman. No one can possibly be better than him, to replace the missing spoke in your wheels."