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Funny Quotes

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"My vanity is not dead. I laugh when I see pictures of myself as I am now-maybe so I won't cry, but just because it is really funny how much I've changed."
Michael Zaslow
"My vanity is not dead. I laugh when I see pictures of myself as I am now-maybe so I won't cry, but just because it is really funny how much I've changed."
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"It's funny how all of this has worked out - I wasn't popular in high school, but now every drunken guy in the United States wants to be my pal. They all want to buy me a shot, and pretty soon I'm throwing up."
Jimmy Kimmel
"It's funny how all of this has worked out - I wasn't popular in high school, but now every drunken guy in the United States wants to be my pal. They all want to buy me a shot, and pretty soon I'm throwing up."
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"The funny thing is that I had never actually watched TV."
Dave Willis
"The funny thing is that I had never actually watched TV."
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"It's so funny, because right now I'm very tired and my brains a little dead, I tend to get very focused and serious. So, I'm probably coming off a lot more like Scully right now."
Gillian Anderson
"It's so funny, because right now I'm very tired and my brains a little dead, I tend to get very focused and serious. So, I'm probably coming off a lot more like Scully right now."
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"Some really good things kind of swing both ways and I like to see people that can swing really, really, really sad and horrible and terrible and really, really, really beautiful and funny."
Beth Henley
"Some really good things kind of swing both ways and I like to see people that can swing really, really, really sad and horrible and terrible and really, really, really beautiful and funny."
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"Humor has historically been tied to the mores of the day. The Yellow Kid was predicated on what people thought was funny about the immigrant Irish. When you're different in a society, you're funny."
Will Eisner
"Humor has historically been tied to the mores of the day. The Yellow Kid was predicated on what people thought was funny about the immigrant Irish. When you're different in a society, you're funny."
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"I'm blonde and tanned and normal-sized! I'm sweet, shy, funny, have a big heart and I'm nice - and I like to eat."
Paris Hilton
"I'm blonde and tanned and normal-sized! I'm sweet, shy, funny, have a big heart and I'm nice - and I like to eat."
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"That's my only goal. Surround myself with funny people, and make sure everyone has a good time and works hard."
Joe Rogan
"That's my only goal. Surround myself with funny people, and make sure everyone has a good time and works hard."
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"I sometimes lie awake at night trying to think of something funny that Richard Nixon said."
Lyn Nofziger
"I sometimes lie awake at night trying to think of something funny that Richard Nixon said."
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"You didn't want to laugh, did you? It wasn't very funny, was it?"
Graham Kennedy
"You didn't want to laugh, did you? It wasn't very funny, was it?"
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"Vicodin, I got addicted to that little pill. The reason I don't talk about it too much in the press is because it isn't funny, and I love to be funny in interviews. If you joke about that period in your life, it doesn't seem right."
Matthew Perry
"Vicodin, I got addicted to that little pill. The reason I don't talk about it too much in the press is because it isn't funny, and I love to be funny in interviews. If you joke about that period in your life, it doesn't seem right."
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"It's a required part of your film history to know who Woody is. His movies are so wonderful, and not just funny but so insightful about human behavior."
Scarlett Johansson
"It's a required part of your film history to know who Woody is. His movies are so wonderful, and not just funny but so insightful about human behavior."
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"It's funny because I think it also goes very well with the show. It has this reputation as being this love city where everyone goes to get married, but when you get there, it's very corny and tacky."
Caroline Dhavernas
"It's funny because I think it also goes very well with the show. It has this reputation as being this love city where everyone goes to get married, but when you get there, it's very corny and tacky."
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"I do like any kind of project that has both comedy and drama in it because in life you don't have one day where everything is funny then the next day everything is dramatic."
Topher Grace
"I do like any kind of project that has both comedy and drama in it because in life you don't have one day where everything is funny then the next day everything is dramatic."
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"There's a constant flow of child actors. It's kind of funny to watch the new crew come through. I think, You poor little things. You're going to have to struggle for a long time."
Tina Yothers
"There's a constant flow of child actors. It's kind of funny to watch the new crew come through. I think, You poor little things. You're going to have to struggle for a long time."
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"These days, rock 'n' roll is much more about rock than about roll. I don't do rock. But I'm interested in that roll part, because that's the funny little bit that makes it hip."
Nick Lowe
"These days, rock 'n' roll is much more about rock than about roll. I don't do rock. But I'm interested in that roll part, because that's the funny little bit that makes it hip."
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"It's funny when someone says to you 'you're hot' and all that, because I don't think of it in that way."
Kate Winslet
"It's funny when someone says to you 'you're hot' and all that, because I don't think of it in that way."
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"Being funny is one of my greatest strengths. I can make girls smile when they're down, and when they're having a good time, I can carry on the joke."
John Krasinski
"Being funny is one of my greatest strengths. I can make girls smile when they're down, and when they're having a good time, I can carry on the joke."
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"The funny thing about commercials to me is that many of them now don't even mention the product until the very end. You don't really know what the commercial is all about. They're kind of like little movies, like shorts, and that's why I think they're so entertaining."
Kevin Nealon
"The funny thing about commercials to me is that many of them now don't even mention the product until the very end. You don't really know what the commercial is all about. They're kind of like little movies, like shorts, and that's why I think they're so entertaining."
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"If I'm in something funny, I like to try and find some kind of serious line in it that people can relate to."
Ron Livingston
"If I'm in something funny, I like to try and find some kind of serious line in it that people can relate to."
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"Is it spoken word? Kinda, but that's a weird area. Is it comedy? Well, it's funny but no, it's not comedy."
Bruce McCulloch
"Is it spoken word? Kinda, but that's a weird area. Is it comedy? Well, it's funny but no, it's not comedy."
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"We've got a bunch of new writers now who tell me they grew up watching The Simpsons. It's bizarre, and they're writing some very funny stuff."
Matt Groening
"We've got a bunch of new writers now who tell me they grew up watching The Simpsons. It's bizarre, and they're writing some very funny stuff."
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"What you do with it and things like that, but I basically chose this after I read it because I thought it was different and funny and unique and dark - things that I like to do."
Danny DeVito
"What you do with it and things like that, but I basically chose this after I read it because I thought it was different and funny and unique and dark - things that I like to do."
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"On some level in acting, what you're trying to find is truth, because when it's true is when it's also funny."
David Hyde Pierce
"On some level in acting, what you're trying to find is truth, because when it's true is when it's also funny."
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"I do not like onions. It's so funny because I am probably one of the least picky eaters ever. Pretty much any type of new food, I'll try it, I'll eat it. But onions, and pork. Pork and onions."
Stacie Orrico
"I do not like onions. It's so funny because I am probably one of the least picky eaters ever. Pretty much any type of new food, I'll try it, I'll eat it. But onions, and pork. Pork and onions."
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"It's funny how making odd noises can get you into strange situations sometimes."
Eric San
"It's funny how making odd noises can get you into strange situations sometimes."
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"What has been happening more lately - of course, I also put in my bio, I say I do the voice of Goliath, but some people go - you know, I say something, and it's a funny thing when you work in this business, people will talk out loud in front of you like you're not there."
Keith David
"What has been happening more lately - of course, I also put in my bio, I say I do the voice of Goliath, but some people go - you know, I say something, and it's a funny thing when you work in this business, people will talk out loud in front of you like you're not there."
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"My friend had a funny remark; he told me everybody has something - some people have a big butt, some people are insecure and at least you know what it is, even if it's a lump on your head. I know I have a lump on my head."
Karen Duffy
"My friend had a funny remark; he told me everybody has something - some people have a big butt, some people are insecure and at least you know what it is, even if it's a lump on your head. I know I have a lump on my head."
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"This is funny because I just had a job over the summer for VH1, a project I did called Strange Frequency where I got to play a Goth rock band singer."
Charisma Carpenter
"This is funny because I just had a job over the summer for VH1, a project I did called Strange Frequency where I got to play a Goth rock band singer."
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"Funny things happen to you in movies for silly reasons."
Michael Caine
"Funny things happen to you in movies for silly reasons."
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"Robert Altman's Nashville is my all-time favorite film because it covers all the bases - it's original, moving, and has something to say, but also funny and incredibly entertaining."
Douglas Wood
"Robert Altman's Nashville is my all-time favorite film because it covers all the bases - it's original, moving, and has something to say, but also funny and incredibly entertaining."
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"Music is more difficult - try naming a political band. The Dead Kennedys. The Dead Kennedys are political, but they are more funny than they are political."
Thom Yorke
"Music is more difficult - try naming a political band. The Dead Kennedys. The Dead Kennedys are political, but they are more funny than they are political."
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"Half of the great comedians I've had in my shows and that I paid a lot of money to and who made my customers shriek were not only not funny to me, but I couldn't understand why they were funny to anybody."
Florenz Ziegfeld
"Half of the great comedians I've had in my shows and that I paid a lot of money to and who made my customers shriek were not only not funny to me, but I couldn't understand why they were funny to anybody."
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"Most shows, you really have to force it. And everybody's nervous, and the network is nervous, and they've all got their notepads out, and they're all going to give notes on what they think is funny, and everybody's trying to spin their jokes, and this was so - the script was so good that we didn't have to really do anything, and it made it so easy for us to do well."
Will Arnett
"Most shows, you really have to force it. And everybody's nervous, and the network is nervous, and they've all got their notepads out, and they're all going to give notes on what they think is funny, and everybody's trying to spin their jokes, and this was so - the script was so good that we didn't have to really do anything, and it made it so easy for us to do well."
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"That's something - you laugh about Eminem... It's funny, man, because I didn't like him when he first came out, ya know. It seemed like a big joke. But I think the guy's for real, and I like his lyrics!"
Alan Vega
"That's something - you laugh about Eminem... It's funny, man, because I didn't like him when he first came out, ya know. It seemed like a big joke. But I think the guy's for real, and I like his lyrics!"
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"Being a funny person does an awful lot of things to you. You feel that you mustn't get serious with people. They don't expect it from you, and they don't want to see it. You're not entitled to be serious, you're a clown."
Fanny Brice
"Being a funny person does an awful lot of things to you. You feel that you mustn't get serious with people. They don't expect it from you, and they don't want to see it. You're not entitled to be serious, you're a clown."
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"It's a funny thing, the less people have to live for, the less nerve they have to risk losing nothing."
Zora Neale Hurston
"It's a funny thing, the less people have to live for, the less nerve they have to risk losing nothing."
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"I never thought I'd live this long. It sounds funny because I still think of myself as a kid."
Larry Dixon
"I never thought I'd live this long. It sounds funny because I still think of myself as a kid."
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"I'm a classic example of all humorists - only funny when I'm working."
Peter Sellers
"I'm a classic example of all humorists - only funny when I'm working."
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"And remember, it's also very funny, because side by side with grief lies joy."
Fran Drescher
"And remember, it's also very funny, because side by side with grief lies joy."
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"If you tell the truth about how you're feeling, it becomes funny."
Larry David
"If you tell the truth about how you're feeling, it becomes funny."
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"I don't need somebody behind a desk to tell me what a marketing survey says is funny. I got 3 million miles and 70,000 tickets sold, telling me that I know how to make people laugh."
D. L. Hughley
"I don't need somebody behind a desk to tell me what a marketing survey says is funny. I got 3 million miles and 70,000 tickets sold, telling me that I know how to make people laugh."
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"No, it's funny, when I eat out it's not typically in the kind of restaurants people might imagine."
Thomas Keller
"No, it's funny, when I eat out it's not typically in the kind of restaurants people might imagine."
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"Michael is a funny character, for whom I have a great deal of affection. He sat across his desk and seemed to be a bit of a blunt fellow. We began talking about the characters and he opened up about his vision."
Madeleine Stowe
"Michael is a funny character, for whom I have a great deal of affection. He sat across his desk and seemed to be a bit of a blunt fellow. We began talking about the characters and he opened up about his vision."
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"It's funny, because my last record was a lot about isolation and people living in separate worlds that other people can't even understand, which drug addiction is the perfect negative example of."
Aimee Mann
"It's funny, because my last record was a lot about isolation and people living in separate worlds that other people can't even understand, which drug addiction is the perfect negative example of."
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"The funny thing about making this record and being away from the girls and on my own in LA is that it allowed me to reflect on how much we've accomplished."
Melanie Chisholm
"The funny thing about making this record and being away from the girls and on my own in LA is that it allowed me to reflect on how much we've accomplished."
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"What's funny is my husband doesn't have any tattoos at all, so he must be the very conservative one."
Ashley Scott
"What's funny is my husband doesn't have any tattoos at all, so he must be the very conservative one."
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"He is very dry but also very funny... I think people tend to feel odd when I do my act. Unless you are an ironic person, it's not a good place for you to be."
Colin Quinn
"He is very dry but also very funny... I think people tend to feel odd when I do my act. Unless you are an ironic person, it's not a good place for you to be."
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"I have only been funny about seventy four per cent of the time. Yes I think that is right. Seventy-four per cent of the time."
Will Ferrell
"I have only been funny about seventy four per cent of the time. Yes I think that is right. Seventy-four per cent of the time."
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"I can't be funny if my feet don't feel right."
Billy Crystal
"I can't be funny if my feet don't feel right."
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