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"Sylvester Stallone is very funny and he's a great guy to hang out with."
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"I'm doing 5000 seat theaters and audiences are going nuts, it's fantastic and it makes me very happy. I'm dirty, but not like this; I just do comedy that I find funny. I'm working on a new tv show for cable and it's not set up yet."
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Personal Development
"It's funny; I actually made poorer decisions when I sobered up then when I was screwed up."
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Personal Development
"It was a JOB; the video show was a JOB; you don't tell the Aristocrats joke at 8 o'clock at night on network tv, it would be funny though. But those guys know I like dirty stuff, I like clean stuff too."
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Personal Development
"Of course, the wind sort of swept up and the music was flying around in mid air and they were trying to play off it. You had to be there. It was quite funny."
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Personal Development
"It's funny how the music industry is enraged about the Internet and the way things are copied without being paid for. But you know why people steal the music? Because they can't afford the music."
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Personal Development
"I am odd-looking. I sometimes think I look like a funny Muppet."
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Personal Development
"I never thought I was funny, but I enjoy being funny."
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Personal Development
"Only man has dignity; only man, therefore, can be funny."
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Personal Development
"My friend had a funny remark; he told me everybody has something - some people have a big butt, some people are insecure and at least you know what it is, even if it's a lump on your head. I know I have a lump on my head."
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"It's so funny whenever things come full circle."
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"And I'm as attached to my wife as anybody can be to another human being."
Wife
"Sylvester Stallone is very funny and he's a great guy to hang out with."
Funny
"Yeah, some of my college friends and I have been tinkering around for years, you know, just for fun."
College
"The point of my explanation is I'm very subjective when it comes to describing my characters: they are all a little bit a part of me from the outside in or the inside out - but to put your mind at ease, I built Paul Snider from the outside in."
Mind
"The earth is a great big orphanage for most animals."
Animals
"As I've gotten older I look like a man, finally."
Man
"My wife and I have so much fun when we travel and find anything... like stray cats and squirrels."
Travel
"We loved being in Russia and would love to go back again, especially to visit my namesake."
Love
"But if you love animals for all the right reasons- and that's just love and affection- then you're going to go after animals who need you."
Love
"Well, I quit smoking three weeks ago and I had a hard day today not smoking."
Day
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