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"I wouldn't totally rule out doing Letterman or the Tonight Show if I had a set that I just happened to write that I thought was funny but was still appropriate for network censors. But I'm not going to go out of my way."
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"People always ask me, 'Were you funny as a child?' Well, no, I was an accountant."
"Steve Martin is one of the most intelligent, well-read human beings that I've ever come across. He is equally as funny off screen as he is on. But he also has a very intellectual side, and he's a really nice human being. We actually become good friends."
Explore more quotes by Joe Rogan
"I really never had any ambitions to be a standup comic. I was talked into it by guys that I used to work out with."
"The misconception is that standup comics are always on. I don't know any really funny comics that are annoying and constantly trying to be funny all the time."
"That's my only goal. Surround myself with funny people, and make sure everyone has a good time and works hard."
"The only time I commit to conspiracy theories is when something way retarded happens. Like Lee Harvey Oswald acting alone."
"Richard Pryor is, in my mind, the most honest comedian. He bared his soul to people. I think that's why everybody loved him so much."
"It never hurt Lenny Bruce's career to get arrested for swearing. It did back in the time, but he broke those doors down by doing the stuff that he believed in."
"It's painful for me to watch someone who isn't funny. It's horrifying to sit in the back and watch some guy who just totally sucks."
"After this whole acting thing is over and done, you eventually have to be human. Some people are never human. It's very weird."
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