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"When I was a kid, there was no distinction between a movie about old people or young people. It was either funny or not. It was either entertaining or not. It was either exciting or not. It was either thrilling or not."
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"It's a funny thing about life; if you refuse to accept anything but the best, you very often get it."

"The most exciting phrase to hear in science, the one that heralds new discoveries, is not 'Eureka!' but 'That's funny...'"

"All these jokes have been pre-approved as funny by me."

"Stealing, you'll go far in life. Actually, there is something funny about getting away with it."

"I remember nearly having a fit of the giggles during the reading because dear Daniel was SO respectful and serious and I was finding the whole situation funny because I was speaking to his profile."
Explore more quotes by Joseph Bologna

"You know, people come up with formulas who are uncreative. They can't picture something different so they can only go by something that's laid out for them."

"So to me, Texas Hold 'em puts me to sleep. At least when you play stud, you can be funny as you deal. Somebody some day is going to come up with a Stud show that's going to work."

"My favorite actors when I was a kid were in their '60s. Spencer Tracy, Humphrey Bogart, John Wayne."

"Most people would rather stay home and watch Casablanca for the fourth time or the 10th time on Turner Classic Movies than go see Matrix 12 or whatever the hell the flavor of the month is."

"I keep working mainly because my wife and I spend most of our time touring the country doing our own plays."

"I get up in the morning, do my e-mail, I check my e-mails all day. I'll go online and I'll buy my books at Amazon.com, but I don't want to buy all of them because I want to go to Duttons and I want to buy books from another human being."

"Why can't she move in with you? Is she against that? She's not a Mormon or anything, is she?"
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