"The reason I turn down 99% of a hundred, I mean a thousand, scripts is because romantic comedies are often very romantic but seldom very funny."

"The moral of filmmaking in Britain is that you will be screwed by the weather."

"But I just know from experience that accent wise, even if you're an accent genius, crossing the Atlantic is the hardest thing in the world either way."

"I don't think there's much point in putting me a deep, dark, heavy, emotional film because there are people who do it so much better than I do."

"I don't particularly like babies. I don't mind them for about four minutes. That's my max. After that I can't quite see what everyone's fussing about."

"I had Courtney Love's left bosom out of her dress on my plate in front of me. It was extraordinary. I didn't know where to look."

"I'm a laugh tart. I make no secret of that fact."

"The only reason my work seems to be eclectic up to a certain period is because I was a failure as an actor."

"I cling to the fantasy that I could have done something more creative. Like actually writing a script, or writing a book. But the awful truth is that I... probably can't!"

"Strangely enough I'm better on a stage. I love that I feel like I blossom in front of a whole bunch of people."

"And film acting is incredibly tedious, just by its nature. It's incredibly, mind numbingly slow."

"With 2 movies opening this summer, I have no relaxing time at all. Whatever I have is spent in a drunken stupor."

"Plus, teaching brings home to you very fast that you actually know nothing. I didn't realize that before."

"Women are frightening. If you get to 41 as a man, you're quite battle-scarred."

"The truth is, I'd never seen a Cary Grant film. Since then I have watched his stuff and it's astounding, but I don't see any similarity between us. Except for the fact that I'm told he used to wear ladies' underwear, which is something I also do."

"But when you're a celebrity, you discover that you're no longer the pursuer, but the one being pursued. That's one of the disappointments I have had since becoming a single man."

"Well, you know I have an office, my film offices. So I know that syndrome. I fancy offices, so there must be something wrong with me. Even the window cleaner intrigues me. It's a very sexy environment."

"Basically, my life is so boring, it's embarrassing."

"For any new technology there is always controversy and there always some fear associated with it. I think that's just the price of being first sometimes."

"I think maybe in a way it gets worse because you come in with a real reputation and they've paid you lots of money and all that."

"And I particularly like the whole thing of being boss. Boss and employee... It's the slave quality that I find very alluring."

"When I think about actors I know, I'd much rather hear about who they're shagging than what film they're doing next."

"I don't have any particular burning desire to go back to being cuddly. Not really."

"Most actors really love it, that's what they want to do. They burn to do it. And so they'll read a script and think, that's an interesting part. And because they love acting, that blinds them to the fact that the rest of it is pretentious nonsense, which it very often is."