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Jerry Seinfeld

"I think it's funny to be delicate with subjects that are explosive."

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"I think it's funny to be delicate with subjects that are explosive."

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A.E. Samaan

"Everything is funny, as long as it's happening to somebody else."

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Personal Development

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A.E. Samaan

"If I studied all my life, I couldn't think up half the number of funny things passed in one session of congress."

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Personal Development

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A.E. Samaan

"The most exciting phrase to hear in science, the one that heralds new discoveries, is not 'Eureka!' but 'That's funny...'"

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Personal Development

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A.E. Samaan

"A lot of the tabloid stories are written so well, they're very clever and very funny. But you have to focus on what's really important and not read them - don't dive into it and don't get caught up in it."

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Personal Development

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A.E. Samaan

"My friend had a funny remark; he told me everybody has something - some people have a big butt, some people are insecure and at least you know what it is, even if it's a lump on your head. I know I have a lump on my head."

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Personal Development

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A.E. Samaan

"Things that go on at Happy Times are very funny this year, and if you were watching last year, some of the people you saw then as basically extras emerge as real characters in their own right this season, at least to some degree."

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A.E. Samaan

"But you can't focus on things that matter if all you've been is asleep for forty years. Funny how sleep rhymes with sheep. You know."

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A.E. Samaan

"Shirley MacLaine said, You're so funny, then gave me a hug. Everything went white. I couldn't hear, I couldn't see. I thought I was going to pass out."

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Personal Development

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A.E. Samaan

"The funny thing about commercials to me is that many of them now don't even mention the product until the very end. You don't really know what the commercial is all about. They're kind of like little movies, like shorts, and that's why I think they're so entertaining."

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A.E. Samaan

"And of course Marc Cherry heightens it and makes it hilarious. But there's so many universal themes in the show, and he made it so funny. We knew he was onto something if he could keep it up and, thankfully, he did."

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Jerry Seinfeld
"Sometimes the road less traveled is less traveled for a reason."

Reason

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Jerry Seinfeld
"Now they show you how detergents take out bloodstains, a pretty violent image there. I think if you've got a T-shirt with a bloodstain all over it, maybe laundry isn't your biggest problem.Maybe you should get rid of the body before you do the wash."

Body

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Jerry Seinfeld
"There's very little advice in men's magazines, because men don't think there's a lot they don't know. Women do. Women want to learn. Men think, "I know what I'm doing, just show me somebody naked.""

Men

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Jerry Seinfeld
"You know you're getting old when you get that one candle on the cake. It's like, 'See if you can blow this out.'"

Old

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Jerry Seinfeld
"There is no such thing as fun for the whole family."

Family

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Jerry Seinfeld
"Men don't care what's on TV. They only care what else is on TV."

Men

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Jerry Seinfeld
"A bookstore is one of the only pieces of evidence we have that people are still thinking."

People

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Jerry Seinfeld
"The Four Levels of Comedy: Make your friends laugh, Make strangers laugh, Get paid to make strangers laugh, and Make people talk like you because it's so much fun."

People

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Jerry Seinfeld
"I think it's funny to be delicate with subjects that are explosive."

Funny

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Jerry Seinfeld
"People who read the tabloids deserve to be lied to."

People

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