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"I think it's funny to be delicate with subjects that are explosive."
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"Everything is funny, as long as it's happening to somebody else."
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Personal Development

"If I studied all my life, I couldn't think up half the number of funny things passed in one session of congress."
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"The most exciting phrase to hear in science, the one that heralds new discoveries, is not 'Eureka!' but 'That's funny...'"
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Personal Development

"A lot of the tabloid stories are written so well, they're very clever and very funny. But you have to focus on what's really important and not read them - don't dive into it and don't get caught up in it."
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Personal Development

"My friend had a funny remark; he told me everybody has something - some people have a big butt, some people are insecure and at least you know what it is, even if it's a lump on your head. I know I have a lump on my head."
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Personal Development

"Things that go on at Happy Times are very funny this year, and if you were watching last year, some of the people you saw then as basically extras emerge as real characters in their own right this season, at least to some degree."
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"But you can't focus on things that matter if all you've been is asleep for forty years. Funny how sleep rhymes with sheep. You know."
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Personal Development

"Shirley MacLaine said, You're so funny, then gave me a hug. Everything went white. I couldn't hear, I couldn't see. I thought I was going to pass out."
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Personal Development

"The funny thing about commercials to me is that many of them now don't even mention the product until the very end. You don't really know what the commercial is all about. They're kind of like little movies, like shorts, and that's why I think they're so entertaining."
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Personal Development

"And of course Marc Cherry heightens it and makes it hilarious. But there's so many universal themes in the show, and he made it so funny. We knew he was onto something if he could keep it up and, thankfully, he did."
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"Sometimes the road less traveled is less traveled for a reason."
Reason

"Now they show you how detergents take out bloodstains, a pretty violent image there. I think if you've got a T-shirt with a bloodstain all over it, maybe laundry isn't your biggest problem.Maybe you should get rid of the body before you do the wash."
Body

"There's very little advice in men's magazines, because men don't think there's a lot they don't know. Women do. Women want to learn. Men think, "I know what I'm doing, just show me somebody naked.""
Men

"You know you're getting old when you get that one candle on the cake. It's like, 'See if you can blow this out.'"
Old

"There is no such thing as fun for the whole family."
Family

"Men don't care what's on TV. They only care what else is on TV."
Men

"A bookstore is one of the only pieces of evidence we have that people are still thinking."
People

"The Four Levels of Comedy: Make your friends laugh, Make strangers laugh, Get paid to make strangers laugh, and Make people talk like you because it's so much fun."
People

"I think it's funny to be delicate with subjects that are explosive."
Funny

"People who read the tabloids deserve to be lied to."
People
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