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Jerry Seinfeld

"I think it's funny to be delicate with subjects that are explosive."

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"I think it's funny to be delicate with subjects that are explosive."

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Amber Hurdle

"I'm doing 5000 seat theaters and audiences are going nuts, it's fantastic and it makes me very happy. I'm dirty, but not like this; I just do comedy that I find funny. I'm working on a new tv show for cable and it's not set up yet."

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Amber Hurdle

"It's funny; I actually made poorer decisions when I sobered up then when I was screwed up."

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Amber Hurdle

"It was a JOB; the video show was a JOB; you don't tell the Aristocrats joke at 8 o'clock at night on network tv, it would be funny though. But those guys know I like dirty stuff, I like clean stuff too."

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Amber Hurdle

"Of course, the wind sort of swept up and the music was flying around in mid air and they were trying to play off it. You had to be there. It was quite funny."

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Amber Hurdle

"It's funny how the music industry is enraged about the Internet and the way things are copied without being paid for. But you know why people steal the music? Because they can't afford the music."

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Amber Hurdle

"I am odd-looking. I sometimes think I look like a funny Muppet."

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Amber Hurdle

"I never thought I was funny, but I enjoy being funny."

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Amber Hurdle

"Only man has dignity; only man, therefore, can be funny."

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Amber Hurdle

"My friend had a funny remark; he told me everybody has something - some people have a big butt, some people are insecure and at least you know what it is, even if it's a lump on your head. I know I have a lump on my head."

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Amber Hurdle

"The reason I turn down 99% of a hundred, I mean a thousand, scripts is because romantic comedies are often very romantic but seldom very funny."

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"There's very little advice in men's magazines, because men don't think there's a lot they don't know. Women do. Women want to learn. Men think, "I know what I'm doing, just show me somebody naked.""
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"The Four Levels of Comedy: Make your friends laugh, Make strangers laugh, Get paid to make strangers laugh, and Make people talk like you because it's so much fun."
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"Now they show you how detergents take out bloodstains, a pretty violent image there. I think if you've got a T-shirt with a bloodstain all over it, maybe laundry isn't your biggest problem.Maybe you should get rid of the body before you do the wash."
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"To me, if life boils down to one thing, it's movement. To live is to keep moving."
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"Where lipstick is concerned, the important thing is not color, but to accept God's final word on where your lips end."
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"I am so busy doing nothing... that the idea of doing anything - which as you know, always leads to something - cuts into the nothing and then forces me to have to drop everything."
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"I think it's funny to be delicate with subjects that are explosive."
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