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Humor Quotes
"Where did you find that one?''I have no idea. I'm a magnet for crazies, I guess.''They must be able to sense a kindred spirit.''Your one to talk. Don't you have more hordes of the undead to lead in a glorious revolution?''Zombies not undead. There's a fine distinction. And no. Right now I'm scouting new talent. The glorious revolution comes tomorrow."
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"I swear by the self-assurance with which elderly men sitting in public tilt sideways to allow the gas to escape loudly."
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"Some people talk in their sleep. Lecturers talk while other people sleep."
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"Could I have a Sloe Gin Fizz, without the gin?""What's the point of that, Miss?" the waiter said."Tomorrow morning," Mabel said."
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"He caught her elbow before she'd taken more than a few steps. 'Are you walking home?'Yes.'It's,' he glanced at his watch, 'nine o'clock.'She shrugged out of his hold and continued on her way. 'The Boogeyman doesn't come out until ten, so I'm good."
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"What was up with class today? It was watered-down porn. He practically had you and Patch on top of your lab table, horizontal, minus your clothes, doing the Big Deed."
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"So, been attacked by any vampires yet?""Not one.""Zombies? Giant spiders? Water monsters?"It's been really quiet on the supernatural front""Too bad, 'cause I got attacked by a devil dog. It was not awesome."
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"Is this what you do with your spare time? he asked me, ignoring his sister."What-are you deciding to talk to me now? Smiling tightly, I grabbed a handful of mulch and dumped it. Rinse and repeat. "Yeah, it's kind of a hobby. What's yours? Kicking puppies?"
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"Tasers are a one-size-fits-all paranormal butt-kicking option. Mine's pink withrhinestones."
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"I thought about how mothers feed their babies with tiny little spoons and forks so I wondered, what do Chinese mothers use? Toothpicks?"
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"Fish and visitors stink after three days."
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"Vane passed the mashed potatoes across Bride to Fury, who stared at them with a fierce frown. "Whatare these?" he asked."Potatoes," Vane told him."What did they do to them?""Just eat them, Fury," Vane said. "You'll like them, trust me."Patrick snorted. "Where are you from that you've never seen mashed potatoes before?""Mars," Fury said as he frowned at the way the potatoes clung to the spoon."
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"So my humor, I'd say, comes from a mixture of lowbrow comedy shows and highbrow theater. It's an interesting mix."
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"Answers to Frequently Asked Questions:Yes.Yes.No.One time in high school.Three times in my twenties.Rocks no salt.Yes.Four.Never. And how dare you!I will take no further questions."
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"Aelin would likely laughed to see him now. The man who had stumbled out of her room after she'd declared that her cycle had arrived. Now sitting in this fine room, mostly naked and not giving a shit about it."
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"There was so much testosterone in the air, I felt like I needed a gas mask."
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"His left eyebrow crept higher and higher as I told him the strange bits like the glowing letters and serpent staff. "Well, Sadie," Inspector Williams said. "You've got quite an imagination." "I'm not lying, Inspector. And I think your eyebrow is trying to escape." He tried to look at his own eyebrows, then scowled."
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"Don't go thinking you can bounce me all over the ground just because I look like somebody's grandmother," the woman said dryly. "Some grandchildren need more raising than others, and I supply it," she grinned, showing very white teeth. -- Esa Bell, Shang Wildcat."
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"Making fun of born-again Christians is like hunting dairy cows with a high powered rifle and scope."
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"Yes, sir, but the Librarian likes bananas, sir."Very nourishin' fruit, Mr Stibbons."Yes, sir. Although, funnily enough it's not actually a fruit, sir."Really?"Yes, sir. Botanically, it's a type of fish, sir. According to my theory it's cladistically associated with the Krullian pipefish, sir, which of course is also yellow and goes around in bunches or shoals."And lives in trees?"Well, not usually, sir. The banana is obviously exploiting a new niche."Good heavens, really? It's a funny thing, but I've never much liked bananas and I've always been a bit suspicious of fish, too. That'd explain it."
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"All right, you got that out of your system. Can I get back in the boat without you striking me again? Or should I stay out here enjoying the marine life?'Why don't you swim around until you find a shark? Then you can discuss how much the two of you have in common."
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"I'll make a book on learning how to be a complete moron someday, and I'm sure no one will buy it, because everyone will have mastered that already by the time I gather enough moronism to process it into digestible upgrade instructions for your average village cyborg-idiot."
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"I hate traveling with amateurs."
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"He raised his hand in a peaceful gesture. "You need to relax a bit, dove. Like Mouse over there. You trust me, don't you, Mouse?""Nope!""Ahhh, I'm hurt. Nobody likes me."
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"Believe you me, I am all for you; and wish you well - for you to go to hell."
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"God save her from annoying Alphas."
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"Jokes are another example of stupidity... we are so wise and so clever and we do stupid stuff, how wise is that?Jokes on stage of being serious... when you aren't serious what you get is more likely somebody being in state of seriousness."
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