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Exlpore more Humor quotes

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Amber Hurdle

"Your party kicked so much ass!Even though you suck so much! It's like, instead of blood, your heart pumps liquid suck! But thanks for the beer!"

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Amber Hurdle

"CHARTERIS [unfolding his arms in terror] No, please. Dont. As a philosopher, it's my business to tell other people the truth; but it's not their business to tell it to me. I dont like it: it hurts."

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Amber Hurdle

"How was I supposed to know 'lucked out' means 'I got screwed over' in Australian?"

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Amber Hurdle

"I believe the phrase you're looking for is 'too much money and not enough things to spend it on."

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Amber Hurdle

"Where did you find that one?''I have no idea. I'm a magnet for crazies, I guess.''They must be able to sense a kindred spirit.''Your one to talk. Don't you have more hordes of the undead to lead in a glorious revolution?''Zombies not undead. There's a fine distinction. And no. Right now I'm scouting new talent. The glorious revolution comes tomorrow."

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Amber Hurdle

"He who joyfully marches to music in rank and file has already earned my contempt. He has been given a large brain by mistake, since for him the spinal cord would suffice."

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Amber Hurdle

"When the first book out my sister-in-law read it and we were chatting at 5 o'clock in the afternoon and she said, "Oh my God, chapter six, sex and a murder," and her five year old wandered into the kitchen and said, "Sixty hamburgers?"

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Amber Hurdle

"Let's put it this way: you know how we always told you that all those years of tormenting four sisters turned you into a closet sadist? Well, if you ever decide that being a lawyer isn't bringing you the kind of gratification you were hoping for, then I think I found the perfect job for you."

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Amber Hurdle

"I wasn't sure what was worse: being oblivious or living within reality. (Eric)"

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Amber Hurdle

"Negative humor is forgotten immediately. It's the stuff that makes us feel better about our lives that lives long. Much more satisfying. Enter children's books."

Explore more quotes by Becca Fitzpatrick

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Becca Fitzpatrick
"You're mine, Angel, and don't you forget it. Your fights are my fights. What if something bad had happened today? It was bad enough when I thought your ghost was haunting me; I don't think I can handle the real thing."
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Becca Fitzpatrick
"Try it on.''It's probably a little snug. Marcie tends to buy down when it comes to sizing.' He merely smiled.'It has a slit up the thigh.' His smile depened.'Zip it up?'Patch's eyes made a slow assessment of me, sharpening to vivid black. 'I'm going to have a hard time sending you off with Scott in that dress. Just a heads-up, if you come home and the dress looks even slightly tampered with, I will track Scott down, and when I find him, it won't be pretty."
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Becca Fitzpatrick
"His eyes made a slow scan of my closet doors, which were cracked. 'I thought I heard something.''Yeah, well, guess what? I'm a living, breathing person, and every now and then I make noise!"
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Becca Fitzpatrick
"And you would have lost. We were surrounded. He threatened your life, and he would have made good on that threat. He had you, and that meant he had me, too."
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Becca Fitzpatrick
"It will cost me a lot to send you with Scott wearing that dress but, just so you know: if you come with that dress even slightly wrinkled, I will trace Scott, and when I find him, it's not gonna be pretty."
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Becca Fitzpatrick
"Go ahead. You're not going to walk in on anyone. I'm home alone.''The whole night?'Immediately, I realized it might not have been the smartest thing to say. 'Dorothea will be coming soon.' That was a lie. Dorothea was long gone. It was close to midnight.'Dorothea?''Our housekeeper. She's old- but strong. Very strong.' I tried to squeeze past him. Unsuccessfully.'Sounds frightening,' he said, retrieving the key from the lock. He held it out for me. 'She can clean a toilet inside and out in under a minute. More like terrifying."
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Becca Fitzpatrick
"The only thing a boyfriend was good for was a shattered heart."
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Becca Fitzpatrick
"There's nothing wrong with the fire.. if you don't get too close. - Patch."
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Becca Fitzpatrick
"Patch's eyes made a slow assessment of me, sharpening to vivid black. 'I'm going to have a hard time sending you off with Scott in that dress. Just a heads-up: If you come home and the dress looks even slightly tampered with, I will track Scott down, and when I find him, it won't be pretty."
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Becca Fitzpatrick
"We don't have to go back to my place, Angel. I can take you home, if that's what you want. Or, if you decide you want to sleep at my place, on opposite sides of my bedroom with a Do Not Cross line drawn down the middle, I'll do it. I won't like it, but I'll do it."
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