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"Fool me once, shame on youfool me twice, shame on mefool me thrice, I'm gonna get the frying pan!"
Author Name
Personal Development
"As a comedian, the more you commit the sin of stupidity, three essential things happen to your life:~people applaud you incessantly.~love you more than their parents.~give you a daily bread."
Author Name
Personal Development
"My religion consists of laughing at myself. My motto is this: As long as there is a me, there is a reason to laugh out loud!"
Author Name
Personal Development
"Well, that depends, I suppose. I heard someone once say that men dance the same way they have sex. So, if you want everyone here to think you're the kind of guy who just sits around and-" He stood up. "Let's dance."
Author Name
Personal Development
"The cleverest woman finds a need for foolish admirers."
Author Name
Personal Development
"Always be wary of any helpful item that weighs less than its operating manual."
Author Name
Personal Development
"I was my own boss, but that all changed the day I got married."
Author Name
Personal Development
"Could you hold the chainsaw a bit closer to your mouth, please?"
Author Name
Personal Development
"Unless you stop him. Perhaps next we meet.""You'll be just as annoying?" I guessed.He fixed my with those warm brown eyes. "Or perhaps you could bring me up to speed on those modern courtship rituals."I sat there stunned until he gave me a glimpse of a smile-just enough to let me know he was teasing. Then he disappeared."Oh, very funny!" I yelled."
Author Name
Personal Development
"Don't ask for a girl's hand in marriage and forget to ask for her leg too."
Author Name
Personal Development
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"The same ambition can destroy or save, and make a patriot as it makes a knave."
Ambition
"Like Cato, give his little senate laws, and sit attentive to his own applause."
Responsibility
"Know then thyself, presume not God to scan; The proper study of mankind is man."
Humility
"So vast is art, so narrow human wit."
Knowledge
"Order is heaven's first law."
Wisdom
"There is a certain majesty in simplicity which is far above all the quaintness of wit."
Wisdom
"On life's vast ocean diversely we sail. Reasons the card, but passion the gale."
Life
"Woman's at best a contradiction still."
Reflection
"I am his Highness' dog at Kew;Pray tell me, sir, whose dog are you?"
Humor
"For Forms of Government let fools contest; whatever is best administered is best."
Wisdom
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