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Woody Allen

"The difference between sex and death is that with death you can do it alone and no one is going to make fun of you."

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"The difference between sex and death is that with death you can do it alone and no one is going to make fun of you."

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Amber Hurdle

"I should curl up in a ball and cry. Instead i think about everything in the whole entire world that makes me angry - There is a lot, oh, there is a lot - and I start singing Justin Bieber at the top of my lungs."

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Amber Hurdle

"Don't panic. Are you sitting? You probably don't need to sit. Well, possibly. At least lean on something."

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Amber Hurdle

"Ma'am,' Augustus said, nodding toward her, 'your daughter's car has just been deservedly egged by a blind man. Please close the door and go back inside or we'll be forced to call the police.' After wavering for a moment, Monica's mom closed the door and disappeared."

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Amber Hurdle

"Be calm when your wife yells at you, calmer when she chastens you, but be terrified when she ignores you."

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Amber Hurdle

"You are so lucky I'm too tired to murder you right now."

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Amber Hurdle

"And, whoa!" He turned to Mr.D. "Your the wine dude? No way!"Mr.D turned hi eyes away from me and gave Nico a look of loathing. "The wine dude?""Dionysus, right? Oh, wow! I've got your figurine!""My figurine.""In my game, Mythomagic. And holofoil card, too! And even though you've only got like five hundred attack points and everybody thinks your the lamest god card, I totally think your powers are sweet!""Ah." Mr.D seemed truly perplexed, which probably saved my life. "Well, that's...gratifying."

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Amber Hurdle

"WHAT FOR IS THIS BOX PADDED? IS IT TO BE SAT ON? CAN IT BE THAT IT IS CAT-FLAVOURED?"

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Amber Hurdle

"Don't ask for a girl's hand in marriage and forget to ask for her leg too."

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Amber Hurdle

" Think of how many times you put on your underwear in a lifetime. It was appalling, it was disgusting, it was stupid."

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Amber Hurdle

"Silverfish looked down."Oh. Are you a dwarf?"Cuddy gave him a blank stare."Are you a giant?" He said."Me? Of course not!"Ah. Then I must be a dwarf, yes."

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Woody Allen
"The artist's job is not to succumb to despair but to find an antidote for the emptiness of existence."
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"I did not marry the first girl that I fell in love with, because there was a tremendous religious conflict, at the time. She was an atheist, and I was an agnostic."
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Woody Allen
"Organized crime in America takes in over forty billion dollars a year and spends very little on office supplies."
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Woody Allen
"Life is full of misery, loneliness, and suffering - and it's all over much too soon."
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Woody Allen
"If I had my life to live over I wish I could be a great pianist or something."
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Woody Allen
"There are two types of people in this world, good and bad. The good sleep better, but the bad seem to enjoy the waking hours much more."
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Woody Allen
"I'm at the stage of life when if a girl says no to me I'm profoundly grateful to her."
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Woody Allen
"I am not afraid of death, I just don't want to be there when it happens."
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Woody Allen
"Those modern analysts they charge so much! In my day for five marks Freud himself would treat you. For ten marks he would treat you and press your pants. For fifteen marks Freud would let you treat him - that included a choice of any two vegetables."
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Woody Allen
"The worst that you can say about him (God) is that basically he's an underachiever."
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