"Never in my life had I been more frustrated. Go figure it wouldn't be with a human but a freaking alien. At least I now knew that the male species were asses no matter what planet they hailed from."

Humor, Frustration, Alienation, Anger

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"Never in my life had I been more frustrated. Go figure it wouldn't be with a human but a freaking alien. At least I now knew that the male species were asses no matter what planet they hailed from."

Exlpore more Humor quotes

"Don't interrupt me while I'm interrupting."

Winston Churchill, English Statesman

Humor, Communication, Life, Patience

"If it weren't for the last minute nothing would get done."

Anonymous, Unknown Unknown

Humor, Procrastination, Delay, Action

"And if I talk to him, I'll say something wrong, give something away. I can feel it coming, a betrayal of myself."

Margaret Atwood, Canadian Novelist

Humor, Escape, Solitude, Space, Privacy

"This was not of the nature of a Christlike lesson for Owen Meany to learn, as he lay in the manger, that someone you hate can give you a hard-on."

John Irving, American Novelist

Humor, Observation, Religion, Truth

"Cheap booze is a false economy."

Christopher Hitchens, American Author

Humor, Economy, Choice, Alcohol

"Sergeant Colon of the Ankh-Morpork City Guard was on duty. He was guarding the Brass Bridge, the main link between Ankh and Morpork. From theft.When it came to crime prevention, Sergeant Colon found it safest to think big."

Terry Pratchett, English Author

Humor, Crime, Duty, Irony

"Kemp: I demonstrated conclusively this morning that invisibility--I.M: Never mind what YOU'VE DEMONSTRATED!--I'm starving, said the voice, and the night is--chilly for a man without clothes."

H. G. Wells, English Author

Humor, Observation, Survival, Humanity

"I hope you're not smoking in front of her,' Lucia says to him.'Yeah, I lie in bed and puff in her face, Lucia,' he says, irritated."

Melina Marchetta, Australian Author

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"Niagara ... is the first disappointment in the married life of many Americans who spend their honeymoon there."

Oscar Wilde, Irish Dramatist

Humor, Disappointment, Marriage, Travel, America

"You humans, always eating. I'll make you soup. You can eat it while you keep working." Myrnin set aside his book and walked into the back of the lab."Don't use the same beaker you used for poisons!" Claire yelled after him. He waved a pale hand. "I mean it!"

Rachel Caine, Canadian Actress

Humor, Work, Food, Care

Explore more quotes by Jennifer L. Armentrout

"Oh, shimmer down, Hunter. You're too testy. How many times have I've told you that you need to chill out, take a vacay. Disney World is really fun this time of the year. you should check it out."

Humor

"The truth is sometimes lost in translation when the facts are not understood."

Truth

"We're probably leaving soon, Rider said. "Might catch a movie.Jayden leaned against the wall as he looked around the room. "I see how it is. You figure you don't stand a chance with Mallory now that I'm here to show her what a real man looks like. He winked as Rider just shook his head. "Fine, leave. But no dumb movie will be as entertainin' as the Jayden Show. And I don't charge admission."

Social

"The past never went away and it was not designed to do so. It would always be there, and it should be acknowledged."

Philosophy

"Thanks, I muttered and added under my breath, "Douchebag.He laughed, deep and throaty. "Now that's not very ladylike, Kittycat.I whipped around. "Don't ever call me that, I snapped."It's better than calling someone a douchebag, isn't it? He pushed out the door. "This has been a stimulating visit. I'll cherish it for a long time to come.Okay. That was it. "You know, you're right. How wrong of me to call you a douchebag. Because a douchebag is too nice of a word for you, I said, smiling sweetly. "You're a dickhead."A dickhead? he repeated. "How charming.I flipped him off."

Humor

""Don't be scared of Bambi" the demon said. "She's only curious and maybe a little bit hungry."?"

Humor

"People can say crap. They can think whatever they want, but you control how you feel about it."

Self

"That kind of love should've been able to beat sickness. That kind of love should've conquered anything."

Love

"He returned my smile with a half grin. "So what do you blog about? Knitting? Puzzles? Being lonely?"

Social

"Daemon!" Dee called from the kitchen. "I need your help!""We should go see what she's doing before she destroys your kitchen." He rubbed his hands down his face. "It's possible."

Responsibility