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Humor Quotes
"Nice hair.' Olivier turned to Clara, hoping to break the tension.'Thank you.' Clara ran her hands through it, making it stand on end as though she'd just had a scare.'You're right.' Olivier turned to Myrna. 'She looks like a frightened doughboy from the trenches of Vimy. Not many people could carry off that look. Very bold, very new millennium. I salute you.'Clara narrowed her eyes and glared at Myrna whose smile went from ear to ear."
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"I have a pretty large experience of boys, and you're a bad set of fellows. Now mind!"
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"If you think it's funny to make fun of the "used car salesman," you better only buy new and never sell your car. Just sayin."
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"Vampires. Honestly, they're like children sometimes."
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"If someone tells me that I've hurt their feelings, I say, 'I'm still waiting to hear what your point is."
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"Orion nodded, then asked, 'Dwarf cheese?'Cheese made by dwarfs.'Oh, said Orion, relieved. 'They make it. It's not actually . . .'No. What a horrible thought.'Exactly."
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"Grinning is something you do when you are entertained in some way, such as reading a good book or watching someone you don't care for spill orange soda all over themselves."
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"If God had a wife He would be in just as much trouble as any man."
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"Nice dress. Take it off."
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"Me,' Artemis blurted. 'I'm the nut.'Artemis could have sworn the squid winked at him before bringing the five-ton chunk of spacecraft swinging down toward the morsel of meat in its blue shell.'I'm the nut!' Artemis shouted again, a little hysterically, it must be said."
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"A good joke doesn't necessarily need appreciation from others. One can freely laugh at one's own deserving jokes."
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"Of course, it is boring to read about boring thing, but it is better to read something that makes you yawn with boredom than something that will make you weep uncontrollably, pound your fists against the floor, and leave tearstains all over your pillowcase, sheets, and boomerang collection."
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"Thought for the day: Twitter...140 character limit...must be a great tool for fortune cookie writers..."
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"Let us make a special effort to stop communicating with each other, so we can have some conversation."
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"Y'ever notice how you never seem to get laid on Thanksgiving? I think it's because all the coats are on the bed."
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"I don't know what it is with Finnick and bread, but he seems obsessed with handling it."
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"Gabi glared. "If you want to add some variety to your sex life, why don't you just use your other hand?"
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"Mom says it's because she has PMS.Do you even know what that means?"I'm not a little kid anymore. It means pissed-at- men syndrome."
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"The moment you have a self at all, there is a possibility of putting yourself first - wanting to be the centre - wanting to be God, in fact. That was the sin of Satan: and that was the sin he taught the human race. Some people think the fall of man had something to do with sex, but that is a mistake...what Satan put into the heads of our remote ancestors was the idea that they 'could be like Gods' - could set up on their own as if they had created themselves - be their own masters - invent some sort of happiness for themselves outside God, apart from God. And out of that hopeless attempt has come...the long terrible story of man trying to find something other than God which will make him happy."
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"We fool ourselves so much we could do it for a living."
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"Larissa's father was Vlad Dracul? Vlad Tepes? Vlad the fucking Impaler?"Tepes translated meant "the Impaler," something Connor clearly knew."Yeah."Surprising him, Connor let out a loud laugh. "Man I bet her family just loved that she mated with a shifter."A weight on Aiden's chest lifted at his Alpha's reaction. "You have no idea."
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"I noticed you weren't checking your watches - you've been shaking them."
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"We're on a mission from Glod."
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"I regard golf as an expensive way of playing marbles."
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"Boys. I'd turn gay if they weren't so sexy."
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"If he's not a wreck without you, you married the wrong man."
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"When I get to Heaven I just know I'm going to forget my toothbrush."
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"I wasn't sure what was worse: being oblivious or living within reality. (Eric)"
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