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Rainbow Rowell

"I dare you to call Ask-A-Nurse and tell them you feel a presence in your womb region."

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"I dare you to call Ask-A-Nurse and tell them you feel a presence in your womb region."

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Amber Hurdle

"Ma'am,' Augustus said, nodding toward her, 'your daughter's car has just been deservedly egged by a blind man. Please close the door and go back inside or we'll be forced to call the police.' After wavering for a moment, Monica's mom closed the door and disappeared."

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Amber Hurdle

"What is it with you today? says Christina on the way to breakfast. Her eyes are stillswollen from sleep and her tangled hair forms a fuzzy halo around her face."Oh, you know, I say. "Sun shining. Birds chirping.She raises an eyebrow at me, as if reminding me that we are in an undergroundtunnel."

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Amber Hurdle

"In a way, a lot of my humor comes from presenting things that are dramatic or shocking and then people not having socially appropriate responses, having people denying the drama by failing to react to it, and that's a really classic form of humor."

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Amber Hurdle

"Sergeant Colon of the Ankh-Morpork City Guard was on duty. He was guarding the Brass Bridge, the main link between Ankh and Morpork. From theft.When it came to crime prevention, Sergeant Colon found it safest to think big."

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Amber Hurdle

"Ben, if you get pee in my brand-new car, I am going to cut your balls off."Still peeing, Ben looks over at me smirking. "You re gonna need a hell of a big knife, bro."

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Amber Hurdle

"Well, while you were in the bathroom, I sat down at this picnic table here in Bumblefug, Kentucky, and noticed that someone had carved that GOD HATES FAG, which, aside from being a grammatical nightmare, is absolutely ridiculous. So I'm changing it to 'God Hates Baguettes.' It's tough to disagree with that. Everybody hates baguettes."

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Amber Hurdle

"What are you assholes looking at?" "Nothing," said Radar. "We're certainly not looking at your eyebrows."

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Amber Hurdle

"If God had a wife, He would be in trouble too if He dodged His chores."

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Amber Hurdle

"When you put on your thinking cap make sure it's clean."

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Amber Hurdle

"Is she special? (asks the gay waiter)' I thinks she's going to break my heart' On arrival of the girl' The flannel is fine honey,but I have'nt seen anyone that over accesorized since batman!"

Explore more quotes by Rainbow Rowell

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Rainbow Rowell
"Every woman wants a man who'll fall in love with her soul as well as her body."
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Rainbow Rowell
"The first time he'd held her hand, it felt so good that it crowded out all the bad things. It felt better than anything had ever hurt."
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Rainbow Rowell
"Baz arched an elegant brow. "Are you going to snog the Humdrum-is that your plan? Because he's eleven. And he looks just like you. That's both vain and deviant, Snow, even for you."
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Rainbow Rowell
"You looked like the girl I loved."
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Rainbow Rowell
"He smiles, and he's made of trouble. We should have dropped him in the Thames in a bag of stones. We should have left him out for the fairies."
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Rainbow Rowell
"October, baptize me with leaves! Swaddle me in corduroy and nurse me with split pea soup. October, tuck tiny candy bars in my pockets and carve my smile into a thousand pumpkins. O autumn! O teakettle! O grace!"
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Rainbow Rowell
"It made her want to have his babies and give him both her kidneys."
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Rainbow Rowell
"She was tired of being the one who cried."
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Rainbow Rowell
"Everytime, he breaks your heart. And everytime, he expects me to pick up the pieces."
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Rainbow Rowell
"Neal huffed. Frustrated. "I hate that you thought I wouldn't call--I hate that everything is so tentative between us right now. When did everything get so tentative?"
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