"I hang around kids so people will assume when I act like one it's because I'm babysitting."

Humor, Happiness, Life, Truth, Inspirational

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"I hang around kids so people will assume when I act like one it's because I'm babysitting."

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"I've accepted the fact I have mental illness but when my imaginary friends start calling me crazy that's where I draw the line."

Stanley Victor Paskavich, American Politician

Humor, Mental, Friend, Imagination

"Crap, are you thinking what I'm thinking?""I'm thinking we have about fifteen vampires and no blood," Claire said. "Is that it?""No, I was thinking we're out of chips. Of course that's what I was thinking."

Rachel Caine, Canadian Actress

Humor, Blood, Survival, Friendship

"Got a lot of sinful idears--but they seem kinda sensible."

John Steinbeck, American Author

Humor, Sin, Idea, Truth

"Laughter comes later, like wisdom teeth. And laughter at yourself comes last of all in a mad race with death. And sometimes, it isn't in time."

John Steinbeck, American Author

Humor, Laughter, Wisdom, Mortality

"Never stay up on the barren heights of cleverness, but come down into the green valleys of silliness."

Ludwig Wittgenstein, Austrian Philosopher

Humor, Cleverness

"I wonder what fool it was that first invented kissing."

Jonathan Swift, Irish Writer

Humor, First, Fool, Kissing, Wonder

"If they gave him an enema, he could be buried in a matchbox."

Anonymous, Unknown Unknown

Humor, Death, Sarcasm, Mortality

"Name the greatest of all inventors: Accident."

Mark Twain, American Author

Humor, Accident, Creativity, Surprise

"Pessimist - one who when he has the choice of two evils chooses both."

Oscar Wilde, Irish Dramatist

Humor, Pessimism, Evil, Choice, Irony

"Pardon my French if you're a religious man.''I am,' Bill said, grinning.'Then get outta my cab and go to fucking church,' the cabbie said, and they both burst out laughing."

Stephen King, American Author

Humor, Faith, Truth, Wisdom

Explore more quotes by Richelle E. Goodrich

"Beauty that pleases the eye is a frail, fleeting illusion. But that beauty capable of pleasing the heart can endure endlessly."

Endurance

"No one stands at the beginning of a race and then finds himself at the end having never taken a step forward. And if that were to happen-the sweat and struggle avoided-what stories would he have to tell? The goal includes the journey, it's all part of the dream."

Journey

"Rare and precious moments, how I long to live with you eternally! If only your sweetness never ceased to touch my lips, and the flutters you evoke nevermore faded away. I dream of your arm extended immeasurably to keep hold of my reaching hand. But Father Time, being a cruel master, will not grant such a wish. And so I tuck you away as cherished memories, stored in a treasure box buried in my heart. And in times of solitude, I shall bring you out to view like rainbows."

Memory

"No matter how many lies you use to disguise it or how many excuses you bury it beneath, the truth will never cease to be true."

Reality

"In a world plagued with commonplace tragedies, only one thing exists that truly has the power to save lives, and that is love."

Salvation

"Life is a puzzle, a riddle, a test, a mystery, a game-whatever challenge you wish to compare it to. Just remember, you're not the only participant; no one person holds all the answers, the pieces, or the cards. The trick to success in this life is to accumulate teammates and not opponents."

Cooperation

"The spirit of Christmas is a sweet, internal peace that testifies of the power of kindness and charity."

Charity

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"I've accepted the fact I have mental illness but when my imaginary friends start calling me crazy that's where I draw the line."

"Crap, are you thinking what I'm thinking?""I'm thinking we have about fifteen vampires and no blood," Claire said. "Is that it?""No, I was thinking we're out of chips. Of course that's what I was thinking."

"Got a lot of sinful idears--but they seem kinda sensible."

"Laughter comes later, like wisdom teeth. And laughter at yourself comes last of all in a mad race with death. And sometimes, it isn't in time."

"Never stay up on the barren heights of cleverness, but come down into the green valleys of silliness."

"I wonder what fool it was that first invented kissing."

"If they gave him an enema, he could be buried in a matchbox."

"Name the greatest of all inventors: Accident."

"Pessimist - one who when he has the choice of two evils chooses both."

"Pardon my French if you're a religious man.''I am,' Bill said, grinning.'Then get outta my cab and go to fucking church,' the cabbie said, and they both burst out laughing."

Explore more quotes by Richelle E. Goodrich

"Beauty that pleases the eye is a frail, fleeting illusion. But that beauty capable of pleasing the heart can endure endlessly."

"No one stands at the beginning of a race and then finds himself at the end having never taken a step forward. And if that were to happen-the sweat and struggle avoided-what stories would he have to tell? The goal includes the journey, it's all part of the dream."

"No matter how many lies you use to disguise it or how many excuses you bury it beneath, the truth will never cease to be true."

"In a world plagued with commonplace tragedies, only one thing exists that truly has the power to save lives, and that is love."

"Life is a puzzle, a riddle, a test, a mystery, a game-whatever challenge you wish to compare it to. Just remember, you're not the only participant; no one person holds all the answers, the pieces, or the cards. The trick to success in this life is to accumulate teammates and not opponents."

"I'm a sucker for curiosity's whims.Does that make me a cat person?"

"Only a fool believes that his actions don't shape the world."

"Your tongue tends to say more about you when it blabs about other people."

"The spirit of Christmas is a sweet, internal peace that testifies of the power of kindness and charity."