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"I had no name for that particular hue of orange, other than unfortunate."
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"Ma'am,' Augustus said, nodding toward her, 'your daughter's car has just been deservedly egged by a blind man. Please close the door and go back inside or we'll be forced to call the police.' After wavering for a moment, Monica's mom closed the door and disappeared."
"I liked that he was a tenured professor in the Department of Slightly Crooked Smiles with a dual appointments in the Department of Having a Voice that Made My Skin Feel More Like Skin."
"What is it with you today? says Christina on the way to breakfast. Her eyes are stillswollen from sleep and her tangled hair forms a fuzzy halo around her face."Oh, you know, I say. "Sun shining. Birds chirping.She raises an eyebrow at me, as if reminding me that we are in an undergroundtunnel."
"In a way, a lot of my humor comes from presenting things that are dramatic or shocking and then people not having socially appropriate responses, having people denying the drama by failing to react to it, and that's a really classic form of humor."
"Ben, if you get pee in my brand-new car, I am going to cut your balls off."Still peeing, Ben looks over at me smirking. "You re gonna need a hell of a big knife, bro."
"Well, while you were in the bathroom, I sat down at this picnic table here in Bumblefug, Kentucky, and noticed that someone had carved that GOD HATES FAG, which, aside from being a grammatical nightmare, is absolutely ridiculous. So I'm changing it to 'God Hates Baguettes.' It's tough to disagree with that. Everybody hates baguettes."
"What are you assholes looking at?" "Nothing," said Radar. "We're certainly not looking at your eyebrows."
"If God had a wife, He would be in trouble too if He dodged His chores."
"When you put on your thinking cap make sure it's clean."
Explore more quotes by Rachel Caine
"Claire said. "I might be able to get him to stop. "Who, crazy dude? Maybe. Or he might pull your head off, Shane said. "I kind of worry.She couldn't help but smile. "Yeah?"A little bit."That's nice.He studied her, and returned the smile. "Yeah, he said. "Kind of is, actually."
"You know,' Shane said twenty minutes later, 'I'd feel a whole lot better about the two of us if you didn't think i was the go-to guy for breaking and entering.'She felt a flash of guilt about the breaking-and-entering part -but she had called him- just before her heart did a funny little painful flip and she heard him say again in her head THE TWO OF US."
"Delighted," Jess said. "I think all houses should be stuffed with books. It makes them--""Homes?" the doctor finished. "You are quite the heretic, for someone in a Library uniform.""Guilty."
"I think so, she [Claire] said. "Just watch your back, okay? "Nah, Michael's got mine. He [Shane] looked straight into her eyes."I've got yours."
"Welcome to Morganville.You'll never want to leave.And even if you do...well, you can't. Sorry about that."
"I'm all right, Nic," Wolfe said, and finally looked at him. "We walked through the dungeons under Rome, survived Philadelphia, and this perfumed cage won't bring us to our knees. We're all stronger than that.""All right," Santi said. "But don't ask me to stop standing next to you. Because you know I will, however much you shout about it."
"As Jess watched in numb horror, the man tore a page from the book and stuffed it into his mouth."
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