"We can free ourselves from the old stories that have reduced us & allow real love for ourselves to blossom."

"Until we begin to question our basic assumptions about ourselves and view them as fluid, not fixed, it's easy to repeat established patterns and, out of habit, reenact old stories that limit our ability to live and love ourselves with an open heart."

"Smiling at someone can have significant health consequences."

"When we open our hearts to the breadth of our experiences, we learn to tune into our needs, unique perceptions, thoughts & feelings."

"The manifestation of the free mind is said to be lovingkindness, compassion, sympathetic joy, and equanimity."

"By experimenting with sympathetic joy, we break from the constricted world of individual struggle and see that joy exists in more places than we have yet imagined."

"Someone who has experienced trauma also has gifts to offer all of us - in their depth, their knowledge of our universal vulnerability, and their experience of the power of compassion."

"When we respond to our pain and suffering with love, understanding, and acceptance-for ourselves, as well as others- over time, we can let go of our anger, even when we've been hurt to the core. But that doesn't mean we ever forget."

"Our senses are often the gateway to our stories."

"Buddhist teachings discourage us from clinging and grasping to those we hold dear, and from trying to control the people or the relationship. What's more, we're encouraged to accept the impermanence of all things: the flower that blooms today will be gone tomorrow, the objects we possess will break or fade or lose their utility, our relationships will change, life will end."

"It takes a special courage to challenge the rigid confines of our accustomed story. It's not easy to radically alter our views about where happiness comes from but it's eminently possible."

"We can learn the art of fierce compassion - redefining strength, deconstructing isolation and renewing a sense of community, practicing letting go of rigid us-vs.-them thinking - while cultivating power and clarity in response to difficult situations."

"When we do our best to treat others with kindness, it's often a struggle to determine which actions best express our love and care for ourselves."

"It is awareness of both our shared pain and our longing for happiness that links us to other people and helps us to turn toward them with compassion."

"Loving ourselves calls us to give up the illusion that we can control everything and focuses us on building our inner resource of resilience."

"If we define ourselves by each of the ever-changing feelings that cascade through us, how will we ever feel at home in our own bodies and minds?"

"Taking responsibility for oneself is by definition an act of kindness."

"Compassion has more to do with the attitude we bring to our encounters with other people than with any quantifiable metric of giving."

"You don't have to love yourself unconditionally before you can give or receive real love."

"We often get caught up in our own reactions and forget the vulnerability of the person in front of us."

"Though it may sound paradoxical, identifying our thoughts, emotions, and habitual patterns of behavior is the key to freedom & transformation."

"Evolutionary biologists tell us we have a "negativity bias that makes our brains remember negative events more strongly than positive ones. So when we're feeling lost or discouraged, it can be very hard to conjure up memories and feelings of happiness and ease."

"A key barometer to help us weigh the rightness of our actions is self-respect."

"Mindfulness helps us see the addictive aspect of self-criticism- a repetitive cycle of flaying ourselves again and again, feeling the pain anew."

"Love is defined by difficult acts of human compassion & generosity."

"Mindfulness isn't difficult, we just need to remember to do it."

"We can understand the inherent radiance & purity of our minds by understanding metta. Like the mind, metta is not distorted by what it encounters."

"If we stretch ourselves to open our minds, to see our shared humanity with others, we allow ourselves to see the existence of community and generosity in unexpected places."

"Never feel ashamed of your longing for happiness."

"Wholehearted acceptance is a basic element of love, starting with love for ourselves, and a gateway to joy. Through the practices of loving kindness and self-compassion, we can learn to love our flawed and imperfect selves. And in those moments of vulnerability, we open our hearts to connect with each other, as well. We are not perfect, but we are enough."

"As soon as we ask whether or not a story is true in the present moment, we empower ourselves to re-frame it."

"Kindness is not a fixed trait that we either have or lack, but more like a muscle that can be developed and strengthened."

"The causes of familial discord and distance are countless, but the results are often the same: secrecy, blame, sadness, hurt, confusion, and feelings of loss and grief."

"Our can-do culture has made many of us believe that we should always be self-sufficient. Somewhere along the way, we also got the message that asking for help is a sign of weakness. We often forget that we're interdependent creatures whose very existence depends on the kindness of others, including-with a bow to Tennessee Williams-strangers."

"When we practice metta, we open continuously to the truth of our actual experience, changing our relationship to life."

"The more we practice sympathetic joy, the more we come to realize that the happiness we share with others is inseparable from our own happiness."

"Sometimes people in abusive situations think they're responsible for the other person's happiness or that they're going to fix them and make them feel better. The practice of equanimity teaches that it's not all up to you to make someone else happy."

"Seeking happiness is not the problem. The problem is that we often do not know where and how to find genuine happiness and so make the mistakes that cause suffering for ourselves & others."

"Real forgiveness in close relationships is never easy. It can't be rushed or engineered."

"We're capable of much more than mediocrity, much more than merely getting by in this world."

"Pain & suffering requires time, awareness, and an intentional practice of self-love to disentangle."

"We need the courage to learn from our past and not live in it."

"In one of the verses of Lal Ded, or Lalla, a fourteenth-century mystic from Kashmir, Lalla says: "At the end of a crazy-moon night the love of God rose. I said "It's me, Lalla."It's me, Lalla, becomes "It's me whoever you are, proclaiming that we no longer stand on the sidelines but are leaping directly into the center of our lives, our truth, our full potential. No one can take that leap for us; and no one has to. This is our journey of faith."

"The idea that traumatic residues-or unresolved stories-can be inherited is groundbreaking."

"When our focus is on seeking, perfecting, or clinging to romance, the charge is often generated by instability, rather than by an authentic connection with another person."

"There is a sentiment common among most of us when it comes to love-letting go can feel scary."

"When we experience inner impoverishment, love for another too easily becomes hunger: for reassurance, for acclaim, for affirmation of our worth."

"Forgiveness that is insincere, forced or premature can be more psychologically damaging than authentic bitterness & rage."

"As human beings, we're capable of greatness of spirit, an ability to go beyond the circumstances we find ourselves in, to experience a vast sense of connection to all of life."

"There is so much we just can't see or know right now, including precisely how our actions will ripple out."