"If I were a man with gills, I would be a fish!"

"The sky, the sky beyond the door is blue."

"I look like Walt Disney just threw up."

"If I were but a man who would be tall, I would be me."

"When it comes to making love, I may not be the best, but I'm damn gouda."

"If I could rap, that would be a sensation, but I can't, you see, I'm just a Caucasian."

"I can't sprinkle sprinkles on. I lose control when I have sprinkles. I'm shaky. I still remember the great sprinkle accident of 1982."

"Never trust sheep."

"I'd rather drive the yellow brick road, you wouldn't happen to know of a rental car place around."

"Never interrupt me when I'm eating a banana."

"You know, I've got a confession to make myself. I'm not really a priest, I've just got my shirt on backwards."

"The first rule to living in America is 'Stop tap dancing, you fool!'."

"I'm Jim Phillips, I have multiple personalities. I'm also a skindiver, a puppeteer, and I was the tenth president of the United States."

"If I were as much of a man as my woman, I'd be my wife."

"What do I do when we're not taping? Sit in a dark room and refine my plans for someday ruling Earth from a blimp. And chess."

"If I were like your mother, I would be a woman."

"I'm going to buy some green bananas because by the time I get home they'll be ripe."