"The first rule to living in America is 'Stop tap dancing, you fool!'."

America, Dancing, First, Living

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"The first rule to living in America is 'Stop tap dancing, you fool!'."

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"America is a nation that conceives many odd inventions for getting somewhere but it can think of nothing to do once it gets there."

Will Rogers, American Actor

America, Inventions, Nation, Nothing

"America wasn't founded so that we could all be better. America was founded so we could all be anything we damned well pleased."

P. J. O'Rourke, American Comedian

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"I was born in Europe... and I've traveled all over the world. I can tell you that there is no place, no country, that is more compassionate, more generous, more accepting, and more welcoming than the United States of America."

Arnold Schwarzenegger, Austrian Actor

America, Country, Europe, states

"America makes up its own mind about what it wants to see."

Ajay Naidu, American Actor

America, Mind

"It was a mystery to me, how the tuning was, or the style seemed to come out of nowhere, it obviously had roots in America going way back, there was nothing like it for me I'd ever seen before."

Eric Clapton, British Musician

America, Mystery, Nothing, Style

"Well, the way things are going, aside from wheat and auto parts, America's biggest export is now the Oscar."

Billy Crystal, American Comedian

America, Now

"Slavery has never been abolished from America's way of thinking."

Nina Simone, American Musician

America, Slavery, Thinking

"I know of no country in which there is so little independence of mind and real freedom of discussion as in America."

Alexis de Tocqueville, French Scientist

America, Country, Freedom, Independence

"I've broken my nose, I've broken ribs. You name it. In fact, we just got back from South America, and I fell over a monitor speaker on the stage and almost ended up in the front row of the audience. I managed to sprain my wrist on that one but luckily nothing was broken."

Keith Emerson, British Musician

America, Fact, Name, Nothing

"I think I came back from America a funnier and nicer person than I went."

Patrick Stewart, English Actor

America,

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"If I were but a man who would be tall, I would be me."

Man

"If I could rap, that would be a sensation, but I can't, you see, I'm just a Caucasian."

Rap

"When it comes to making love, I may not be the best, but I'm damn gouda."

Love

"I'd rather drive the yellow brick road, you wouldn't happen to know of a rental car place around."

Car

"I'm going to buy some green bananas because by the time I get home they'll be ripe."

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"You know, I've got a confession to make myself. I'm not really a priest, I've just got my shirt on backwards."

Confession

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Exlpore more America quotes

"America is a nation that conceives many odd inventions for getting somewhere but it can think of nothing to do once it gets there."

"America wasn't founded so that we could all be better. America was founded so we could all be anything we damned well pleased."

"I was born in Europe... and I've traveled all over the world. I can tell you that there is no place, no country, that is more compassionate, more generous, more accepting, and more welcoming than the United States of America."

"America makes up its own mind about what it wants to see."

"It was a mystery to me, how the tuning was, or the style seemed to come out of nowhere, it obviously had roots in America going way back, there was nothing like it for me I'd ever seen before."

"Well, the way things are going, aside from wheat and auto parts, America's biggest export is now the Oscar."

"Slavery has never been abolished from America's way of thinking."

"I know of no country in which there is so little independence of mind and real freedom of discussion as in America."

"I've broken my nose, I've broken ribs. You name it. In fact, we just got back from South America, and I fell over a monitor speaker on the stage and almost ended up in the front row of the audience. I managed to sprain my wrist on that one but luckily nothing was broken."

"I think I came back from America a funnier and nicer person than I went."

Explore more quotes by Ryan Stiles

"If I were but a man who would be tall, I would be me."

"If I could rap, that would be a sensation, but I can't, you see, I'm just a Caucasian."

"When it comes to making love, I may not be the best, but I'm damn gouda."

"I'd rather drive the yellow brick road, you wouldn't happen to know of a rental car place around."

"I'm going to buy some green bananas because by the time I get home they'll be ripe."

"You know, I've got a confession to make myself. I'm not really a priest, I've just got my shirt on backwards."

"Never interrupt me when I'm eating a banana."

"If I were like your mother, I would be a woman."

"If I were a man with gills, I would be a fish!"

"Never trust sheep."