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Ryan Stiles

"The first rule to living in America is 'Stop tap dancing, you fool!'."

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"The first rule to living in America is 'Stop tap dancing, you fool!'."

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Donna Grant

"I was born in Europe... and I've traveled all over the world. I can tell you that there is no place, no country, that is more compassionate, more generous, more accepting, and more welcoming than the United States of America."

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"America is becoming so educated that ignorance will be a novelty. I will belong to the select few."

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Donna Grant

"America is a nation that conceives many odd inventions for getting somewhere but it can think of nothing to do once it gets there."

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"In America you need a bodyguard to go out."

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"America's best buy is a telephone call to the right man."

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Donna Grant

"There's something almost adolescent about Whitman's paean to everything that was and remains good about America."

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Donna Grant

"I apologize to coalition forces and all the families, detainees, the families, America and all the soldiers."

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Donna Grant

"To be black and an intellectual in America is to live in a box. On the box is a label, not of my own choosing."

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Donna Grant

"I went to America on holiday when I was 17 and, before I knew it, I'd been signed up by an agency and had these obligations I didn't understand, but which I couldn't say no to. This industry chose me. But I did choose to make it fulfilling."

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Donna Grant

"Watching the scenes out of New Orleans, if you turn down the sound it could be the Sudan or any Third World country. But it's not. it's the United States of America."

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"The sky, the sky beyond the door is blue."
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"If I were but a man who would be tall, I would be me."
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"I can't sprinkle sprinkles on. I lose control when I have sprinkles. I'm shaky. I still remember the great sprinkle accident of 1982."
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"I'd rather drive the yellow brick road, you wouldn't happen to know of a rental car place around."
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"I'm going to buy some green bananas because by the time I get home they'll be ripe."
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"If I were as much of a man as my woman, I'd be my wife."
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"I look like Walt Disney just threw up."
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Ryan Stiles
"The first rule to living in America is 'Stop tap dancing, you fool!'."
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Ryan Stiles
"You know, I've got a confession to make myself. I'm not really a priest, I've just got my shirt on backwards."
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"Never trust sheep."
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