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Ryan Stiles

"Never interrupt me when I'm eating a banana."

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"Never interrupt me when I'm eating a banana."

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Asa Don Brown

"Are you eating it? Or is it eating you?"

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Asa Don Brown

"Am I eating chicken or tuna?"

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Asa Don Brown

"The sun would come up over the ocean, and we'd be eating scrambled eggs before we shot some stuff. It was a vacation in the sense that it was the best working conditions."

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Asa Don Brown

"I hate television. I hate it as much as peanuts. But I can't stop eating peanuts."

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Asa Don Brown

"I remember seeing the song in some diners on the selection gadget that plays records at the table while you were eating. We were never told if the songs ever got on any charts."

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Asa Don Brown

"I never felt that getting angry would do you any good other than hurt your own digestion, keep you from eating, which I liked to do."

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Asa Don Brown

"But I don't want to lose touch with things like eating in Bob's Big Boy."

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Asa Don Brown

"When I am full, I stop eating."

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Asa Don Brown

"Don't bother me while I'm eating, or when I'm coming out of the crackhouse or something. Just let me get going."

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Asa Don Brown

"Maybe there is no actual place called hell. Maybe hell is just having to listen to our grandparents breathe through their noses when they're eating sandwiches."

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"If I were a man with gills, I would be a fish!"
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"I'd rather drive the yellow brick road, you wouldn't happen to know of a rental car place around."
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"What do I do when we're not taping? Sit in a dark room and refine my plans for someday ruling Earth from a blimp. And chess."
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"When it comes to making love, I may not be the best, but I'm damn gouda."
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"I look like Walt Disney just threw up."
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"I'm going to buy some green bananas because by the time I get home they'll be ripe."
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"If I were but a man who would be tall, I would be me."
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"I'm Jim Phillips, I have multiple personalities. I'm also a skindiver, a puppeteer, and I was the tenth president of the United States."
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"Never trust sheep."
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Ryan Stiles
"If I were like your mother, I would be a woman."
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