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"Never interrupt me when I'm eating a banana."
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"I started working around eigth grade. I remember doing a Doritos commercial where there were four days in a row of eating them, and I will tell you, I have not eaten many Doritos since."

"You know an odd feeling? Sitting on the toilet eating a chocolate candy bar."

"You get so weak from eating pears that you fall down, and then they come and take you away on a stretcher."

"I was not created to be occupied by eating delicious foods like tied up cattle."

"You've got bad eating habits if you use a grocery cart in 7-Eleven."

"Maybe there is no actual place called hell. Maybe hell is just having to listen to our grandparents breathe through their noses when they're eating sandwiches."

"When it comes to eating, you can sometimes help yourself more by helping yourself less."
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