top of page
"Never interrupt me when I'm eating a banana."
Standard
Customized
More

"I started working around eigth grade. I remember doing a Doritos commercial where there were four days in a row of eating them, and I will tell you, I have not eaten many Doritos since."
Author Name
Personal Development

"I can't walk by chocolate without eating it."
Author Name
Personal Development

"You know an odd feeling? Sitting on the toilet eating a chocolate candy bar."
Author Name
Personal Development

"You get so weak from eating pears that you fall down, and then they come and take you away on a stretcher."
Author Name
Personal Development

"I was not created to be occupied by eating delicious foods like tied up cattle."
Author Name
Personal Development

"Maybe there is no actual place called hell. Maybe hell is just having to listen to our grandparents breathe through their noses when they're eating sandwiches."
Author Name
Personal Development

"When it comes to eating, you can sometimes help yourself more by helping yourself less."
Author Name
Personal Development

"Don't bother me while I'm eating, or when I'm coming out of the crackhouse or something. Just let me get going."
Author Name
Personal Development

"Dinner was made for eating, not for talking."
Author Name
Personal Development

"I've done the Rolling Stones eating each other."
Author Name
Personal Development
More

"The sky, the sky beyond the door is blue."
Sky

"If I were but a man who would be tall, I would be me."
Man

"I can't sprinkle sprinkles on. I lose control when I have sprinkles. I'm shaky. I still remember the great sprinkle accident of 1982."
Control

"If I were a man with gills, I would be a fish!"
Man

"If I could rap, that would be a sensation, but I can't, you see, I'm just a Caucasian."
Rap

"I'd rather drive the yellow brick road, you wouldn't happen to know of a rental car place around."
Car

"I'm going to buy some green bananas because by the time I get home they'll be ripe."
Home

"If I were as much of a man as my woman, I'd be my wife."
Wife

"I look like Walt Disney just threw up."
Disney

"The first rule to living in America is 'Stop tap dancing, you fool!'."
America
bottom of page