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"When it comes to making love, I may not be the best, but I'm damn gouda."
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"One of the greatest gifts my brother and I received from my mother was her love of literature and language. With their boundless energy, libraries open the door to these worlds and so many others. I urge young and old alike to embrace all that libraries have to offer."

"Every relationship I've been in, I've overwhelmed the girl. They just can't handle all the love."
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"I can't sprinkle sprinkles on. I lose control when I have sprinkles. I'm shaky. I still remember the great sprinkle accident of 1982."

"I'd rather drive the yellow brick road, you wouldn't happen to know of a rental car place around."

"I'm Jim Phillips, I have multiple personalities. I'm also a skindiver, a puppeteer, and I was the tenth president of the United States."
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