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"If I were like your mother, I would be a woman."
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Exlpore more Mother quotes

"My mother loved children - she would have given anything if I had been one."

"A boy is not free to find a partner of his own as long as he must be the partner to his mother."

"My mother-in-law had a pain beneath her left breast. Turned out to be a trick knee."

"My father was always telling himself no one was perfect, not even my mother."
Explore more quotes by Ryan Stiles


"I can't sprinkle sprinkles on. I lose control when I have sprinkles. I'm shaky. I still remember the great sprinkle accident of 1982."


"I'm Jim Phillips, I have multiple personalities. I'm also a skindiver, a puppeteer, and I was the tenth president of the United States."


"I'd rather drive the yellow brick road, you wouldn't happen to know of a rental car place around."


"You know, I've got a confession to make myself. I'm not really a priest, I've just got my shirt on backwards."
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