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Ryan Stiles

"If I were like your mother, I would be a woman."

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"If I were like your mother, I would be a woman."

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Akiroq Brost

"A mother is the most important blessing of your life."

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Akiroq Brost

"My mother always called me an ugly weed, so I never was aware of anything until I was older. Plain girls should have someone telling them they are beautiful. Sometimes this works miracles."

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Akiroq Brost

"Necessity, the mother of invention."

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Akiroq Brost

"My mother loved children - she would have given anything if I had been one."

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Akiroq Brost

"I told my mother at about the seventh year of therapy that I had been abused sexually by my father, and she hung up the phone on me."

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Akiroq Brost

"A boy is not free to find a partner of his own as long as he must be the partner to his mother."

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Akiroq Brost

"When I was eight years old I went to visit my brother who was working on a movie of the week with my mother and I saw how much fun he was having and I decided I wanted to try it too."

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Akiroq Brost

"My mother-in-law had a pain beneath her left breast. Turned out to be a trick knee."

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Akiroq Brost

"My father and mother - I figured if I could make them laugh, they'd stop fighting. I stole all their material."

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Akiroq Brost

"My father was always telling himself no one was perfect, not even my mother."

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"I can't sprinkle sprinkles on. I lose control when I have sprinkles. I'm shaky. I still remember the great sprinkle accident of 1982."
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"The sky, the sky beyond the door is blue."
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"Never trust sheep."
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"If I were but a man who would be tall, I would be me."
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"I'm Jim Phillips, I have multiple personalities. I'm also a skindiver, a puppeteer, and I was the tenth president of the United States."
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"Never interrupt me when I'm eating a banana."
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"If I could rap, that would be a sensation, but I can't, you see, I'm just a Caucasian."
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"I'd rather drive the yellow brick road, you wouldn't happen to know of a rental car place around."
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"You know, I've got a confession to make myself. I'm not really a priest, I've just got my shirt on backwards."
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Ryan Stiles
"I'm going to buy some green bananas because by the time I get home they'll be ripe."
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