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Ryan Stiles

"I'm Jim Phillips, I have multiple personalities. I'm also a skindiver, a puppeteer, and I was the tenth president of the United States."

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"I'm Jim Phillips, I have multiple personalities. I'm also a skindiver, a puppeteer, and I was the tenth president of the United States."

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Amber Hurdle

"Well, when you come down to it, I don't see that a reporter could do much to a president, do you?"

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"There's never a dearth of reasons to shoot at the President."

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Amber Hurdle

"But even the President of the United States sometimes must have to stand naked."

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Amber Hurdle

"George W. Bush is not only a great president; he was a great candidate."

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Amber Hurdle

"When asked for your views, by the press or others, remember that what they really want to know is the President's views."

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Amber Hurdle

"One of your tasks is to separate the "personal" from the "substantive." The two can become confused, especially if someone rubs the President wrong."

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Amber Hurdle

"This President is going to lead us out of this recovery."

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Amber Hurdle

"The President is going to benefit from me reporting directly to him when I arrive."

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Amber Hurdle

"I would say that President Roosevelt probably was more intimately in touch with the press corps at the White House than President Truman was."

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Amber Hurdle

"I'm glad Reagan is president. Of course, I'm a professional comedian."

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"If I were as much of a man as my woman, I'd be my wife."
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"I look like Walt Disney just threw up."
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"If I were but a man who would be tall, I would be me."
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"If I could rap, that would be a sensation, but I can't, you see, I'm just a Caucasian."
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"When it comes to making love, I may not be the best, but I'm damn gouda."
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"I'd rather drive the yellow brick road, you wouldn't happen to know of a rental car place around."
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"I can't sprinkle sprinkles on. I lose control when I have sprinkles. I'm shaky. I still remember the great sprinkle accident of 1982."
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"The first rule to living in America is 'Stop tap dancing, you fool!'."
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Ryan Stiles
"I'm going to buy some green bananas because by the time I get home they'll be ripe."
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"You know, I've got a confession to make myself. I'm not really a priest, I've just got my shirt on backwards."
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