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"What do I do when we're not taping? Sit in a dark room and refine my plans for someday ruling Earth from a blimp. And chess."
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"Chess is an infinitely complex game, which one can play in infinitely numerous and varied ways."
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Personal Development
"My freshman year of high school I joined the chess and math clubs."
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Personal Development
"Whoever sees no other aim in the game than that of giving checkmate to one's opponent will never become a good Chess player."
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Personal Development
"In Kansas I have a chess school."
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Personal Development
"Litigation is the pursuit of practical ends, not a game of chess."
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Personal Development
"Ensemble is hard to do. It's like 3-D chess."
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Personal Development
"Chess is mental torture."
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Personal Development
"Chess is not for timid souls."
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"I think that by and large chess players have been very kind. Like I said there have been a few incidents, but they certainly didn't serve to bring me down any."
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Personal Development
"After that, Kasparov stepped back from chess which is, and I want this to be clear, not good for chess in general at all. As a whole, the current situation in the chess world leaves a lot to be desired."
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"If I were a man with gills, I would be a fish!"
Man
"The sky, the sky beyond the door is blue."
Sky
"I can't sprinkle sprinkles on. I lose control when I have sprinkles. I'm shaky. I still remember the great sprinkle accident of 1982."
Control
"Never trust sheep."
Trust
"I'd rather drive the yellow brick road, you wouldn't happen to know of a rental car place around."
Car
"The first rule to living in America is 'Stop tap dancing, you fool!'."
America
"If I were as much of a man as my woman, I'd be my wife."
Wife
"I'm going to buy some green bananas because by the time I get home they'll be ripe."
Home
"I'm Jim Phillips, I have multiple personalities. I'm also a skindiver, a puppeteer, and I was the tenth president of the United States."
President
"If I were but a man who would be tall, I would be me."
Man
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