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Ryan Stiles

"If I were but a man who would be tall, I would be me."

Man,
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"If I were but a man who would be tall, I would be me."

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Amber Hurdle

"Civilized society is perpetually menaced with disintegration through this primary hostility of men towards one another."

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Amber Hurdle

"Our plans miscarry because they have no aim. When a man does not know what harbor he is making for, no wind is the right wind."

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Amber Hurdle

"The display of grief makes more demands than grief itself. How few men are sad in their own company."

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Amber Hurdle

"So live with men as if God saw you and speak to God, as if men heard you."

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Amber Hurdle

"Produce great men, the rest follows."

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Amber Hurdle

"And there is no trade or employment but the young man following it may become a hero."

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Amber Hurdle

"If a man knows not what harbor he seeks, any wind is the right wind."

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Amber Hurdle

"The one knowing what is profitable, and not the man knowing many things, is wise."

Man,
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Amber Hurdle

"The tragedy of machismo is that a man is never quite man enough."

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Amber Hurdle

"If women are supposed to be less rational and more emotional at the beginning of our menstrual cycle when the female hormone is at its lowest level, then why isn't it logical to say that, in those few days, women behave the most like the way men behave all month long?"

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Ryan Stiles
"Never interrupt me when I'm eating a banana."
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Ryan Stiles
"You know, I've got a confession to make myself. I'm not really a priest, I've just got my shirt on backwards."
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Ryan Stiles
"If I were a man with gills, I would be a fish!"
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Ryan Stiles
"I'm going to buy some green bananas because by the time I get home they'll be ripe."
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Ryan Stiles
"What do I do when we're not taping? Sit in a dark room and refine my plans for someday ruling Earth from a blimp. And chess."
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Ryan Stiles
"I look like Walt Disney just threw up."
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Ryan Stiles
"Never trust sheep."
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Ryan Stiles
"I'm Jim Phillips, I have multiple personalities. I'm also a skindiver, a puppeteer, and I was the tenth president of the United States."
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Ryan Stiles
"If I were like your mother, I would be a woman."
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Ryan Stiles
"The first rule to living in America is 'Stop tap dancing, you fool!'."
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