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Quotes by Cartoonist
"I have all these great genes, but they're recessive. That's the problem here."
31
"Life is like a movie-since there aren't any commercial breaks, you have to get up and go to the bathroom in the middle of it."
Life,
31
"The fact that we're protected under that Constitution in exercising the right of free speech, it's a wonderful thing. You've got to come from somewhere else to realize how valuable it is."
31
"As you can see, I have memorized this utterly useless piece of information long enough to pass a test question. I now intend to forget it forever. You've taught me nothing except how to cynically manipulate the system. Congratulations."
31
"Wild animals are just as confused as people are now. You've got toxins in the water, oil, sewage, all sorts of things."
30
"Getting an inch of snow is like winning 10 cents in the lottery."
30
"Writing this book feels like a completely different activity from writing my comic strip because it's about real life. I feel like I'm using a part of my brain that's been dormant until now."
30
"A key to my thinking has always been the almost fanatical belief that what I was engaged in was a literary art form. That belief was compounded out of ego and necessity, I guess, a combination of the two."
30
"Sometimes when I'm talking, my words can't keep up with my thoughts. I wonder why we think faster than we speak. Probably so we can think twice."
29
"You always feel the drawing you are working on is the best you've ever done... I am only interested in the present."
29
"I don't think so, but it's always in the back of my mind that many of the soldiers being wounded and killed in Iraq are about the same age as my kids. My godson is going over soon, so the war's about to get personal for me."
29
"I have no idea what readership is of written editorials, but it doesn't come anywhere close to the readership of editorial cartoons."
29
"I think I feel a little differently than other people do. For some reason I've never felt grown up."
29
"These are ideas. I could say that they just came to me, but it would be more accurate to say that I went to them. Ideas - and new connections between ideas - lead you away from commonly held perceptions of reality. Ideas lead you out here. Ideas lead you into the darkness."
28
"We all have different desires and needs, but if we don't discover what we want from ourselves and what we stand for, we will live passively and unfulfilled."
28
"Humor has historically been tied to the mores of the day. The Yellow Kid was predicated on what people thought was funny about the immigrant Irish. When you're different in a society, you're funny."
28
"Once a profound truth has been seen, it cannot be 'unseen'. There's no 'going back' to the person you were. Even if such a possibility did exist... why would you want to?"
28
"Making a cartoon occupied usually about three full days, two spent in labour and one in removing the appearance of labour."
27
"The best thing to do is just leave them alone. Alligators want to be away from you just as much as you want to be away from them."
Want,
27
"Lives have been altered in fundamental ways, and later, after they acquire a more complete understanding of what goals are actually attainable, many are left facing a lot of pain and frustration. And yet, there's no culture of complaint."
26
"Well, it's a humor strip, so my first responsibility has always been to entertain the reader... But if, in addition, I can help move readers to thought and judgment about issues that concern me, so much the better."
26
"Oh look, yet another Christmas TV special! How touching to have the meaning of Christmas brought to us by cola, fast food, and beer.... Who'd have ever guessed that product consumption, popular entertainment, and spirituality would mix so harmoniously?"
26
"Advertising is the art of making whole lies out of half truths."
26
"Artists are just children who refuse to put down their crayons."
25
"The ghastly thing about postal strikes is that after they are over, the service returns to normal."
25
"In time your relatives will come to accept the idea that a career is as important to you as your family. Of course, in time the polar ice cap will melt."
25
"Love one another and you will be happy. It's as simple and as difficult as that."
24
"You can present the material, but you can't make me care."
24
"BE CAREFUL, OR BE ROADKILL!"
23
"Years from now, when I'm successful and happy, ...and he's in prison... I hope I'm not too mature to gloat."
23
"Behind every working woman is an enormous pile of unwashed laundry."
23
"Hello Dad! It is now three in the morning. Do you know where I am?"
22
"Churchill was one of the few men I have met who even in the flesh give me the impression of genius. George Bernard Shaw is another. It is amusing to know that each thinks the other is overrated."
21
"HOBBES:Virtue needs some cheaper thrills."
20
"Isn't it sad how some people's grip on their lives is so precarious that they'll embrace any preposterous delusion rather than face an occasional bleak truth?"
20
"I'm not a vegetarian! I'm a dessertarian!"
20
"I am a working woman. I take care of a home. I hold down a job. I am nuts."
20
"Think of the life of the working woman as the decathlon. If you even finish it's a miracle."
20
"We were called The Toilets originally - we were flushed with success."
20
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