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"What fun is it being cool if you can't wear a sombrero?"
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"Fool me once, shame on youfool me twice, shame on mefool me thrice, I'm gonna get the frying pan!"
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Personal Development
"As a comedian, the more you commit the sin of stupidity, three essential things happen to your life:~people applaud you incessantly.~love you more than their parents.~give you a daily bread."
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Personal Development
"One who has both feet firmly planted in the air."
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Personal Development
"My religion consists of laughing at myself. My motto is this: As long as there is a me, there is a reason to laugh out loud!"
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Personal Development
"Well, that depends, I suppose. I heard someone once say that men dance the same way they have sex. So, if you want everyone here to think you're the kind of guy who just sits around and-" He stood up. "Let's dance."
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Personal Development
"The cleverest woman finds a need for foolish admirers."
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Personal Development
"Always be wary of any helpful item that weighs less than its operating manual."
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Personal Development
"She breathed an enormous sigh, looked at Poirot, Looked away, and suddenly blurted out, "You're too old. Nobody told me you were so old. I really don't want to be rude but - there it is. You're too old. I'm really sorry." She turned abruptly and blundered out of the room, rather like a desperate moth in lamplight. Poirot, his mouth open, heard the bang of the front door. He ejaculated: "Non d'un nom d'un nom..."
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Personal Development
"I was my own boss, but that all changed the day I got married."
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Personal Development
"Could you hold the chainsaw a bit closer to your mouth, please?"
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"God put me on this earth to accomplish a certain number of things. Right now I am so far behind that I will never die."
God
"From now on, I'll connect the dots my own way."
Now
"If your knees aren't green by the end of the day, you ought to seriously re-examine your life."
Life
"The world of a comic strip ought to be a special place with its own logic and life... I don't want the issue of Hobbes's reality settled by a doll manufacturer."
Life
"Reality continues to ruin my life."
Life
"The problem with the future is that it keeps turning into the present."
Future
"I've got to start listening to those quiet, nagging doubts."
Listening
"Getting an inch of snow is like winning 10 cents in the lottery."
Winning
"Genius is never understood in its own time."
Time
"If you can't control your peanut butter, you can't expect to control your life."
Life
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