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"There are few things less comforting than a tiger who's been up too late."
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"He'd had the foresight to know that a lot of the savages wear store-bought clothes."

"Now, can I help you with something? I'm new, but I'll do my best to figure out how to get what you need. "That's good to hear, Abby, since I need your breasts for a few minutes."

"Her eyes betrayed no shock at the sights of the quay as they unfolded " not the sweating deckhands, the prostitutes crowding the ship, the hubbub of stalls, including one where three slaves were for sale, their ankles manacled. She might as well have been walking through a country garden as she moved inexorably away from the water."

"Society in its boundless ignorance ridicules the caterpillar but praises the butterfly."

"As far as she could see, children mostly argued, shouted, ran around very fast, laughed loudly, picked their noses, got dirty and sulked."

"Connie, giving her thoughts on why Vinnie's hot temper is less than normal, says: 'Lucille must have fed him a Vallium smoothie this morning."

"Right now, it's hard to imagine that it is raining anywhere in the world."

"Taking a deep breath, I shake my head and find Judge staring at me. "Reason number 106 why dogs are smarter than humans," I say. "Once you leave the litter, you sever contact with your mothers."

"Quiet people always know more than they seem. Although very normal, their inner world is by default fronted mysterious and therefore assumed weird. Never underestimate the social awareness and sense of reality in a quiet person; they are some of the most observant, absorbent persons of all."
Explore more quotes by Bill Watterson

"That's the whole problem with science. You've got a bunch of empiricists trying to describe things of unimaginable wonder."

"In my opinion, we don't devote nearly enough scientific research to finding a cure for jerks."

"You know, sometimes kids get bad grades in school because the class moves too slow for them. Einstein got D's in school. Well guess what, I get F's!!!"

"Sometimes when I'm talking, my words can't keep up with my thoughts. I wonder why we think faster than we speak. Probably so we can think twice."
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