"I am Butler. Anything I say sounds scary."

"You still awake?' asked the anesthetist.'Nope,' I replied."

"Young love is common, but that doesn't mean it's not precious."

"Tea? At the beach? No time for luxuries, Holly. There is important work to be done. He winked at Butler.'Are you sure you're at the library? I thought I heard water.Artemis smiled, enjoying the exchange. 'Water? Surely not. The only thing flowing here is information.'Are you grinning, Artemis? For some reason I get the feeling that you're wearing that smug smile of yours."

"Genius inspires resentment. A sad fact of life."

"That was horrible. Horrible. That poor little guy.'Pex was unrepentant. 'Yeah, well, he asked for it. Calling us ... all those things.'But---buried alive! That's like in that horror movie. Y'know -- the one with all the horror.'I think I saw that one. With all the words going up on the screen at the end?'Yeah, that was it. Tell you the truth, those words kinda ruined it for me."

"I know what dissipate means, Arty. I'm not three, for heaven's sake."

"No matter what dimension you're in, there's a big-headed male trying to take over the world."

"She held out a small voice recorder. 'By the way, could you describe exactly how you felt at the moment of impact? I'm writing this short story--'Put that away, Hazel,' hissed Mam. 'The poor boy is in pain.'Hazel persisted. 'Would that be a white-hot pain? Or more of a dull throbbing pain?"

"The sun was already long past the spire when Garrick purchased a mug of coffee from his regular man on the tip of Oxford Street. But his palate had been educated by 21st century coffee, and he judged this mug as bilge water not fit for the Irish."

"The thing about a diversion is that it has to be diverting."

"Shut up, Julius! I mean, quiet a moment, Commander."

"*to thor* Zeus had replied that he had pulled fluffballs of lint out of his bellybutton that were bigger than Asgard."

"Naturally, we lunatics are the kindest of the bunch."

"They have gone. And the tunnel is about to close. So, boys, I am looking for someone to blame."

"Doobie always wanted to see the badge. It was shiny, and he was eight."

"It was no time for mercy, it was time to terminate with extreme prejudice."

"Why can't I solve this problem by killing someone? she though petulantly, then comforted herself with the mantra that had kept her going in prison: 'Soon all the humans will be dead,' she said, droning in the time-honored fashion of gurus everywhere. 'And then Opal will be loved.'And even if I'm not loved, she thought, at least all the humans will be dead."

"We're being lead by an idiot with a crayon."

"Have you ever heard of the theory of relativity?'Artemis blinked. 'Is this a joke? I have traveled through time, Doctor. I think I know a little something about relativity."

"Really, I'm trying to care, Artemis, really. But I thought it was all supposed to be over when the fat lady sings. Well, she's singing, but it doesn't appear to be over."

"Giving evidence against one's employers was the first step to unemployment."

"What's that supposed to mean? A wolf's head on a stick. Big wolf barbecue tonight? Bring your own wolf?"

"Other men look up and down, left and right; but men like us are different. We are visionaries."

"Are you an angel or a devil, sir? I need to know. Are you taking me up or down?"

"The Theory of Evolution has more holes in it than a dam made out of Swiss cheese."

"Let us proceed under the assumption that the fairy folk do exist, and that I am not a gibbering moron."

"Evolution is a theory with more holes than a Dutch dam of swiss cheese."

"It took teams of LEP warlocks to slow down time for a few hours, the magic required to open a door to the tunnel was stupendous. It would be easier to shoot down the moon.Opal tapped this into her notepad.Reminder. Shoot down the moon? Viable?"

"This was business."

"Conor, I could search the world for another swashbuckling scientist, but I doubt if I would find one like you."

"Who are you?' he asked.I am the future queen of this world, at the very least. You may refer to me as Mistress Koboi for the next five minutes. After that you may refer to me as Aaaaarrrrgh, hold your throat, die screaming, and so on."

"Holly clambered after him, struggling up the human-size steps. 'Wait! Just wait,' she called, overtaking Artemis and looking him in the eye from one step up. 'I know you, Artemis. You like to play your genius card close to your chest until the big reveal. And that's worked out for us so far. But this time you need to let me in. I can help. So, tell me the truth, do you have a plan?'Artemis met his friend's gaze and lied to her face. 'No,' he said. 'No plan."

"A pity to survive night flights over St. Georges Channel only to crack my skull falling from a ladder."

"It's like learning to ride a unicorn. You never forget."

"I bet,' said Mulch, 'that you would set the world on fire just to watch it burn.'Opal tapped the suggestion into a small electronic notepad on her pocket computer.Thanks for that. Now, tell me everything."

"Meg and Belch only had eyes for each other. Not in the usual romantic sense."

"Wait,' said Butler. 'Just wait, Holly. Artemis has a plan.' He squinted through the green dome. 'What is your plan, Artemis?'All Artemis could do was smile and shrug."

"Friendship isn't a science mudboy. Just do what you think is right."

"But he drank a lot. When love dies, he told me, there are no survivors."

"I don't like lollipops."

"Hey, bodyguard. You better get down to the gymnasium. This jumbo pixie guy is killing your sister.' 'Really?' said Butler, unconvinced. 'Really. Juliet just does not seem to be herself. She can't put two moves together. It's pathetic, really. Everybody is betting against her.' 'I see,' said Butler, straightening. Mulch held the door. 'It's going to make things really interesting when you show up to help.' Butler grinned. 'I'm not coming to help. I just want to be there when she stops faking.' 'Ah,' said Mulch, comprehension dawning on his face. 'So I should switch my bet to Juliet?' 'You certainly should' said Butler."

"Who or what inspires you?'I must admit that I often read my own articles in scientific journals and inspire myself."

"In my experience, boys are predictable. As soon as they think of something, they do it. Girls are smarter-they plan ahead. They think about not getting caught."

"Orion brightened. 'I have an idea.'Yes?' said Foaly, daring to hope that a spark of Artemis remained.'Why don't we look for some magic stones that can grant wishes? Or, if that doesn't work, you could search my naked body for some mysterious birthmark that means I am actually the prince of somewhere or other."

"Well, young man, have you found anyone worthy of your respect?'Artemis smiled back. 'Yes,' he said. 'I believe I have."

"Don't hate me forever, Arty,' whispered Holly. 'I couldn't bear that."

"Certain battles were won by retreating."

"They were in a position of total ignorance and people in that position often died without being enlightened."

"The sarcasm made a slight whistling noise as it flew over Loafers' head."