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Eoin Colfer

"Holly clambered after him, struggling up the human-size steps. 'Wait! Just wait,' she called, overtaking Artemis and looking him in the eye from one step up. 'I know you, Artemis. You like to play your genius card close to your chest until the big reveal. And that's worked out for us so far. But this time you need to let me in. I can help. So, tell me the truth, do you have a plan?'Artemis met his friend's gaze and lied to her face. 'No,' he said. 'No plan."

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"Holly clambered after him, struggling up the human-size steps. 'Wait! Just wait,' she called, overtaking Artemis and looking him in the eye from one step up. 'I know you, Artemis. You like to play your genius card close to your chest until the big reveal. And that's worked out for us so far. But this time you need to let me in. I can help. So, tell me the truth, do you have a plan?'Artemis met his friend's gaze and lied to her face. 'No,' he said. 'No plan."

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"Victor Vigny: A monkey glances up and sees a banana, and that's as far as he looks. A visionary looks up and sees the moon.Conor Broekhart: Which resembles a giant banana."
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"All we can hope for is that he will fall into the ocean with a bar of soap in his pocket."
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"Excuse me, Captain. Are you two going to weep salty tears of admiration over a helmet all night, or do we have matters to discuss?"
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"Orion nodded, then asked, 'Dwarf cheese?'Cheese made by dwarfs.'Oh, said Orion, relieved. 'They make it. It's not actually . . .'No. What a horrible thought.'Exactly."
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"Foaly: Anyone see you come in here? Holly: The FBI, CIA, NSA, DEA, MI6. Oh, and the EIB. Foaly: The EIB? Holly: (smirking) Everyone in the building."
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"Time to do what he did best - plot dastardly acts."
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"Me,' Artemis blurted. 'I'm the nut.'Artemis could have sworn the squid winked at him before bringing the five-ton chunk of spacecraft swinging down toward the morsel of meat in its blue shell.'I'm the nut!' Artemis shouted again, a little hysterically, it must be said."
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"Sometimes Spiro missed the times when a troublesome worker was thrown out of a high window and that was the end of him. These days, if you threw someone out of a window, they'd phone their lawyer on the way down."
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