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"The sarcasm made a slight whistling noise as it flew over Loafers' head."
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"Is she special? (asks the gay waiter)' I thinks she's going to break my heart' On arrival of the girl' The flannel is fine honey,but I have'nt seen anyone that over accesorized since batman!"
"It's kinda hard to get yourself into a good three-toweler when you got the dick of death."
"I love poking fun at myself. I have a rather mean sense of humor."
"Whistler,' Manet called. 'How's your mother?"
"But to remain historically accurate, I would have had to leave out an important question that I felt needed to be addressed, which is, 'What if Jesus had known kung fu?"
"No matter where he went in the City, there was an odoriferous mix of food and vehicles, like the alchemic concoctions of some mad gourmet mechanic: Kung Pao Saab Turbo, Buick Skylark Carbonara, Sweet-and-Sour Metro Bus, Honda Bolognese with Burning Clutch Sauce."
"Baz arched an elegant brow. "Are you going to snog the Humdrum-is that your plan? Because he's eleven. And he looks just like you. That's both vain and deviant, Snow, even for you."
Explore more quotes by Eoin Colfer
"Artemis: 'Right, brothers. Onward. Imagine yourself seated at a cafe in Montmartre.'Myles: 'In Paris.'Artemis: 'Yes, Paris. And try as you will, you cannot attract the waiter's attention. What do you do?'Beckett: 'Umm...tell Butler to jump-jump-jump on his head?'Myles: 'I agree with simple-toon.'Artemis: 'No! You simply raise one finger and say clearly 'ici, garcon.'Beckett: 'Itchy what?"
"Other men look up and down, left and right; but men like us are different. We are visionaries."
"In my experience, boys are predictable. As soon as they think of something, they do it. Girls are smarter-they plan ahead. They think about not getting caught."
"Have you ever heard of the theory of relativity?'Artemis blinked. 'Is this a joke? I have traveled through time, Doctor. I think I know a little something about relativity."
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