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Eoin Colfer

"It took teams of LEP warlocks to slow down time for a few hours, the magic required to open a door to the tunnel was stupendous. It would be easier to shoot down the moon.Opal tapped this into her notepad.Reminder. Shoot down the moon? Viable?"

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"It took teams of LEP warlocks to slow down time for a few hours, the magic required to open a door to the tunnel was stupendous. It would be easier to shoot down the moon.Opal tapped this into her notepad.Reminder. Shoot down the moon? Viable?"

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"Magic works best for me when it aligns with scientific principles."

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"Life is a fairy tale that was written by hopes, dreams, and desires."

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"It feels sort of euphoric, like we're in some sort of fairytale. Like she's Tinkerbell and I'm Peter Pan. No, wait. I don't want to be Peter Pan. Maybe she can be like Cinderella and I'll be her Prince Charming."

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"Seven, Richie thought. That's the magic number. There has to be seven of us. That's the way it's supposed to be."

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"And now about the cauldron singLike elves and fairies in a ring,Enchanting all that you put in."

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"To a vampire, there is only selfishness."

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"Maybe Harry Potter is real and you're not."

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"In fact the Gods were as puzzled by all this as the wizards were, but they were powerless to do anything and in any case were engaged in an eons-old battle with the Ice Giants, who had refused to return the lawnmower."

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Amber Hurdle

"Running along the bank was a white rabbit wearing a waistcoat and looking worriedly at a clock. Appearing and disappearing at various points on both banks was a dark blue British police telephone booth, out of which a perplexed-looking man holding a screwdriver would periodically emerge. A group of dwarf bandits could be seen disappearing into a hole in the sky. "Time travelers," said Nobodaddy in a voice of gentle disgust. "They're everywhere these days."

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Eoin Colfer
"Artemis: 'Right, brothers. Onward. Imagine yourself seated at a cafe in Montmartre.'Myles: 'In Paris.'Artemis: 'Yes, Paris. And try as you will, you cannot attract the waiter's attention. What do you do?'Beckett: 'Umm...tell Butler to jump-jump-jump on his head?'Myles: 'I agree with simple-toon.'Artemis: 'No! You simply raise one finger and say clearly 'ici, garcon.'Beckett: 'Itchy what?"
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Eoin Colfer
"Naturally, we lunatics are the kindest of the bunch."
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Eoin Colfer
"Other men look up and down, left and right; but men like us are different. We are visionaries."
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Eoin Colfer
"In my experience, boys are predictable. As soon as they think of something, they do it. Girls are smarter-they plan ahead. They think about not getting caught."
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Eoin Colfer
"The thing about a diversion is that it has to be diverting."
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Eoin Colfer
"Well, young man, have you found anyone worthy of your respect?'Artemis smiled back. 'Yes,' he said. 'I believe I have."
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Eoin Colfer
"It was no time for mercy, it was time to terminate with extreme prejudice."
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Eoin Colfer
"He had seen bigger men than he with mummy's handkerchief clutched in on hand and a bloody dagger in the other."
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Eoin Colfer
"Young love is common, but that doesn't mean it's not precious."
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Eoin Colfer
"Really, I'm trying to care, Artemis, really. But I thought it was all supposed to be over when the fat lady sings. Well, she's singing, but it doesn't appear to be over."
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