"You still awake?' asked the anesthetist.'Nope,' I replied."

Wit, Humor, Irony, Medical

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"You still awake?' asked the anesthetist.'Nope,' I replied."

Exlpore more Wit quotes

"Gabe scratched his double chin. "Maybe if you hurry with the seven-layer dip...And maybe if the kid apologizes for interrupting my poker game."Maybe if I kick you in your soft spot, I thought. And make you sing Soprano for a week."

Rick Riordan, American Novelist

Wit, Humor, Truth, Power, Life

"When I battle wits with Jarod Kintz I always feel like I need to take my brain out to give him a transplant. Bad part is we don't have any."

Will Advise, Bulgarian Author

Wit, Intelligence, Competition, Humor, Thought

"My mother-in-law belongs in Hell, but the devil is afraid she'll end up taking over."

Matshona Dhliwayo, Zimbabwean Philosopher

Wit, Humor, Family, Light-hearted, Courage

"Your wit makes others witty."

Catherine II, Russian Statesman

Wit, Witty

"Wit must be foiled by wit: cut a diamond with a diamond."

William Congreve, English Poet

Wit,

"I'm keeping my acerbic wit completely fueled."

Janice Dickinson, American Model

Wit,

"There's a hell of a distance between wise-cracking and wit. Wit has truth in it; wise-cracking is simply calisthenics with words."

Dorothy Parker, American Poet

Wit, Truth, Language, Humor

"Nothing is so great an example of bad manners as flattery. If you flatter all the company, you please none; If you flatter only one or two, you offend the rest."

Jonathan Swift, Irish Writer

Wit, Company, Example, Flattery, Manners

"And are you going to explain why you consider competing with me to be the most sincere form of compliment? "Of course I am, Lightsong said. "My dear, have you ever known me to make an inflammatorily ridiculous statement without providing an equally ridiculous explanation to substantiate it? "Of course not, she agreed. "You are nothing if not exhaustive in your self-congratulatory made-up logic. "I am rather exceptional in that regard."

Brandon Sanderson, American Author

Wit, Logic, Competition, Humor, Self

"If it works, it will be plenty dramatic. And I suppose that if it doesn't work, it will be even more dramatic, what with the blast.""David, I think you just made a joke."He frowned, utterly perplexed. "Did I?"

Leigh Bardugo, Israeli Author

Wit, Humor, Drama, Irony, Dialogue

Explore more quotes by Eoin Colfer

"We are different, my friend. We are visionaries. A monkey looks up and sees and banana, and that is as far as he looks. But a visionary looks up and sees the moon."

Vision

"Orion nodded, then asked, 'Dwarf cheese?'Cheese made by dwarfs.'Oh, said Orion, relieved. 'They make it. It's not actually . . .'No. What a horrible thought.'Exactly."

Humor

"Time to do what he did best - plot dastardly acts."

Planning

"Confidence is ignorance. If you're feeling cocky, it's because there's something you don't know."

Knowledge

"A CD. How quaint. We have these in museums."

Technology

"He had seen bigger men than he with mummy's handkerchief clutched in on hand and a bloody dagger in the other."

Contrast

"How did that go [Butler] asked. 'Your first lengthy conversation with a girl your own age.'Fabulous, said Artemis, his voice dripping with sarcasm. 'We're planning a June wedding."

Social

"Humm humm haaa. Rahmumm humm haaaa,' intoned Opal, finishing her chant. 'Peace be inside me, tolerance all around me, forgiveness in my path. Now, Mervall, show me where the filthy human is so that I may feed him his organs."

Fantasy

"Artemis looked at Holly and felt a tremendous affection for her... he could properly appreciate how fierce and beautiful his best friend was...She is truly magical, thought Artemis. Perhaps her qualities are more obvious to me now that I have decided to sacrifice myself."

Sacrifice

"Excuse me, Tex,' the nurse said, hands on hips. 'Would you mind reining in the voice. There are babies being born in this hospital. We wouldn't want the first sound they hear to be your painful howling. There could be lawsuits."

Life