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Quotes by Entertainer

"North Dakota State. What do you have to do there to graduate? Milk a cow with your left hand?"

"I asked him if he ever hung out with black guys in high school and he said, 'Well, no. They always had these angry looks on their faces. Who wouldn't look ticked off having to deal with nitwits like him?"


"We see the people that have got stars in their eyes, but if you've really got what it takes, you can get from, say the beginnings, to the top in about five years."


"I've produced more pilots than United Airlines, and they've all been disasters. Every audition I ever took in my life I lost."

"My dignity and good television - they'll never meet."

"More than ever before, Americans are suffering from back problems: back taxes, back rent, back auto payments."

"You're assisting the audience to understand; you're giving them a bridge or an access. And if you don't give them that, if you keep it more abstract, it's almost more pure. It's a cooler thing."

"Age has been the perfect fire extinguisher for flaming youth."

"Love is so confusing - you tell a girl she looks great and what's the first thing you do? Turn out the lights!"

"If I go to a seminar and someone like you or someone like him is talking, I'm never part of the group that rushes him directly afterward. I always wait in the back corner with my head down until everyone is gone, and then I go up and do my thing."

"Jerusalem Syndrome is actually a rare psychological condition that occurs to some visitors to the Middle East. They get to Israel and just snap."


"Our meaning is to make our little planet Earth a better place to live, to stop wars, disarm nuclear missiles, to stop diseases, AIDS, plague, cancer and to stop pollution."

"Spring is God's way of saying, 'One more time!'"

"A happy person is not a person in a certain set of circumstances, but rather a person with a certain set of attitudes."

"What upset me the most was not that I would die, but that I was letting down my parents. I felt very guilty for chasing this dream career of mine, at the expense of my parents."

"Older people shouldn't eat health food, they need all the preservatives they can get."

"A lot of food shows need only to tempt. Some food shows only need to inspire, to empower. And there are a lot of shows that do that."
Food,


"It's difficult to do that internally, because you're flying five, six hours."

"I think that the majority of messages are validating messages to confirm the survival of conscious. And many times that validation message is negative or sad."

"IF is a very long word in Formula One; in fact, IF is F1 spelled backwards."


"Because my father was a psychiatric nurse, I know my way around the system."


"You always have two choices: your commitment versus your fear."

"I named all my children after flowers. There's Lillie and Rose and my son, Artificial."

"When I was a kid, I never saw a puppet show. I never played with puppets or had any interest in them."

"I was proud of the waves I had made, but wondered how many boats I was supposed to rock."

"There are also always those burnt, hard kernels at the bottom that don't pop. You know why they don't pop? They don't pop because they have integrity."

"Politics, where fat, bald, disagreeable men, unable to be candidates themselves, teach a president how to act on a public stage."

"The U.S. army confirmed that it gave a lucrative fire fighting contract in Iraq to the firm once run by the Vice President Dick Cheney without any competitive bidding. When asked if this could be conceived as Cheney's friends profiting from the war, the spokesman said 'Yes.'"

"I'm sad to see the passing of the great drug warriors. I certainly did my part in that battle and I don't regret any of it."

"Don't let the fear of the time it will take to accomplish something stand in the way of your doing it. The time will pass anyway; we might just as well put that passing time to the best possible use."

"You see and work with many of the same people over and over again; they are all specialists in what they do. I could never do their jobs, and they say they wouldn't know how to start to do a warm-up."

"I was not surprised by the results of the Horizon experiments, but I remain willing to observe and consider any and all other tests that are done under similarly precise conditions."

"At first, I thoroughly enjoyed being famous."

"We will receive not what we idly wish for but what we justly earn. Our rewards will always be in exact proportion to our service."

"It is still an open question, however, as to what extent exposure really injures a performer."

"Other kids did drugs; I did crafts. I never knew where I fit in."

"In a prime-time address, President Bush said he backed limited federal funding for stem cell research. That's right, the President said, this is a quote, the research could help cure brain diseases like Alzheimer's, Parkinson's, and whatever it is I have."

"I terminated the interview when I didn't know what he was talking about and went upstairs to lunch."

"I tip like crazy. They'll remember me. Celebrity can be expensive."

"Many of our soldiers are stationed at Camp Coyote just south of the Iraqi border. This is how you know we have a strong army, when you can actually tell your enemy exactly where your camp is and what its name is."
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