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Quotes by Entertainer
"I've stopped caring about skeptics, but if they libel or defame me they will end up in court."
42
"But then, so far as I know, I am the only performer who ever pledged his assistants to secrecy, honor and allegiance under a notarial oath."
36
"Children are so used to seeing puppets that when they see a real ventriloquist they don't understand it."
26
"I'll tell you what's helped me my entire life. I look at baseball as a game. It's something where people can go out, enjoy and have fun. Nothing more."
25
"When I was a bit older I had all of the George Carlin records, all of the Steve Martin records, all of the Cheech and Chong records and all of the Richard Pryor records."
24
"She is the mother I never had, she is the sister everybody would want. She is the friend that everybody deserves. I don't know a better person."
23
"I certainly would have regretted not getting into wrestling. It's been very lucrative for me and I've been fortunate to get into it and make money and not do anything stupid where I invested in something that collapsed."
23
"Money is in some respects life's fire: it is a very excellent servant, but a terrible master."
22
"I have given up trying to be happy. It is no use an leads to nothing."
21
"Lots of people want to ride with you in the limo, but what you want is someone who will take the bus with you when the limo breaks down."
21
"It took 35 years, but the time was well spent and I think I have established a good stake in the future."
21
"Would it be better if I'd married a Negro woman? Would they treat my child any better? Erect fewer barriers?"
21
"Suicide is a permanent solution to a temporary problem."
20
"I wasn't anything special as a father. But I loved them and they knew it."
19
"The lawlessness of frontier life in America has been pictured as a remarkable phenomenon. In reality, it was the natural consequence of indiscriminate mixing of volatile substances."
18
"I knew the profanity used up and down my street would not go over the air... So I trained myself to say 'Holy Cow' instead."
17
"Don't worry about the horse being blind, just load the wagon."
16
"I've enjoyed being a part of something from the beginning, when we were still finding our footing."
16
"Books were my pass to personal freedom. I learned to read at age three, and soon discovered there was a whole world to conquer that went beyond our farm in Mississippi."
16
"Prince decided to move from Minneapolis to Toronto. Jimmy Jam told me that they were living there now."
16
"The press is like the peculiar uncle you keep in the attic - just one of those unfortunate things."
15
"I've never had a drink of alcohol or any drug in my life."
15
"If you are in the job for glamour, you're in for the shock of your life. The media is a huge shark pool."
15
"Sometimes I get the feeling the whole world is against me, but deep down I know that's not true. Some of the smaller countries are neutral."
15
"I love to have battles of the wits with people that can dish fast and dirty - and it leads to problems occasionally, 'cause I can sound mean without attempting to be mean."
14
"My wife says I'm making a noise like a stranded whale. I think I have a major snoring problem."
Wife,
14
"I have never seen a bad television program, because I refuse to. God gave me a mind, and a wrist that turns things off."
14
"Yeah, I think we did the term Muppets before we got the show Sam and Friends - a few months after I started working."
13
"I'm always most excited about the job I'm doing at the present, and that's especially true about 'Price' because of my respect for the show and it's production team."
13
"I get bitter, angry and disbelieving and I tell my kids there a lot of idiots out there. I also want them to know that being successful is not the real world - that their parents get treated better because they're on TV."
13
"Sex is the most beautiful thing that can take place between a happily married man and his secretary."
13
"You see the images that the public is demanding. Why more reality-based TV? You'd think that after the first Survivor it would have gone away, but it hasn't. The public demands it because they get all caught up in the personal stories, and want to see more and more."
13
"My dad taught me true words you have to use in every relationship. Yes, baby."
13
"The most sophisticated people I know - inside they are all children."
13
"Whatever we plant in our subconscious mind and nourish with repetition and emotion will one day become a reality."
12
"The best part of being a vegan is the purity and peace of mind one experiences and the strong connection I feel to the animal kingdom."
12
"A vacation is having nothing to do and all day to do it in."
12
"My musical development stopped when Frank Sinatra died."
12
"The one thing you don't want is that stale sound when you've done a line so much you can't find a fresh approach to it. Drop it."
11
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