Absurdity Quotes | Beyond Motive 2/2

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Absurdity Quotes

"You would be amazed how many magicians have died after being bitten by mad rabbits. It's far more common than you might think. -Angela the Herbalist."

"You would be amazed how many magicians have died after being bitten by mad rabbits. It's far more common than you might think. -Angela the Herbalist."

Christopher Paolini, American Author

Absurdity, Humor, Magic, Imagination

36

"Joseph, you're out of clean towels. Lucia poked her head into the living room, the rest of her hidden behind the wall. Her red hair dripped water onto my wooden floors.'She's in the buff. Jenna guffawed. Gabriella rolled her eyes, beaming.I rose. 'Go back to the bathroom. I'll bring you a towel, I ordered Lucia. She disappeared down the hall.'You have naked angels running around your house, Jenna continued through her laughter. Gabby laughed louder."

"Joseph, you're out of clean towels. Lucia poked her head into the living room, the rest of her hidden behind the wall. Her red hair dripped water onto my wooden floors.'She's in the buff. Jenna guffawed. Gabriella rolled her eyes, beaming.I rose. 'Go back to the bathroom. I'll bring you a towel, I ordered Lucia. She disappeared down the hall.'You have naked angels running around your house, Jenna continued through her laughter. Gabby laughed louder."

Laura Kreitzer, American Author

Absurdity, Humor, Chaos, Embarrassment, Dialogue

34

"That was horrible. Horrible. That poor little guy.'Pex was unrepentant. 'Yeah, well, he asked for it. Calling us ... all those things.'But---buried alive! That's like in that horror movie. Y'know -- the one with all the horror.'I think I saw that one. With all the words going up on the screen at the end?'Yeah, that was it. Tell you the truth, those words kinda ruined it for me."

"That was horrible. Horrible. That poor little guy.'Pex was unrepentant. 'Yeah, well, he asked for it. Calling us ... all those things.'But---buried alive! That's like in that horror movie. Y'know -- the one with all the horror.'I think I saw that one. With all the words going up on the screen at the end?'Yeah, that was it. Tell you the truth, those words kinda ruined it for me."

Eoin Colfer, Irish Author

Absurdity, Humor, Horror, Irony, Dialogue

32

"What is existence for but to be laughed at if men in their twenties have already attained the utmost?"

"What is existence for but to be laughed at if men in their twenties have already attained the utmost?"

Soren Kierkegaard, Danish Philosopher

Absurdity, Existence, Youth, Achievement

30

"Dangerous as a lightning strike, as lethal as a pair of crisscrossing short swords, William whispered, "You're about to find out how your liver tastes, my friend."I have tasted it already, Zacharel said, his voice its usual monotone. The snowflakes began to fall in earnest, tiny at first, but growing in diameter. An arctic wind blustered around him. "It was a bit salty.How the hell was a guy supposed to respond to that?Apparently William didn't know, either, because he gaped at the angel. Then, "Maybe if you added a little pepper?O-kay. It was official. William had an answer for everything."

"Dangerous as a lightning strike, as lethal as a pair of crisscrossing short swords, William whispered, "You're about to find out how your liver tastes, my friend."I have tasted it already, Zacharel said, his voice its usual monotone. The snowflakes began to fall in earnest, tiny at first, but growing in diameter. An arctic wind blustered around him. "It was a bit salty.How the hell was a guy supposed to respond to that?Apparently William didn't know, either, because he gaped at the angel. Then, "Maybe if you added a little pepper?O-kay. It was official. William had an answer for everything."

Gena Showalter, American Novelist

Absurdity, Humor, Violence, Dialogue

26

"Whattaya mean you ain't no criminal lawyer? You a lawyer right? And you in here, that means you also a criminal."

"Whattaya mean you ain't no criminal lawyer? You a lawyer right? And you in here, that means you also a criminal."

Kenneth Eade, American Author

Absurdity, Irony, Justice, Identity, Humor

24

"Great, numbskull. Just bloody great. You've already managed to piss off the Queen. What's next on your agenda, setting fire to Disneyland?"

"Great, numbskull. Just bloody great. You've already managed to piss off the Queen. What's next on your agenda, setting fire to Disneyland?"

Thea Harrison, American Author

Absurdity, Humor, Chaos, Authority, Rebellion

22

"As if someone had thrown a hand grenade into the middle of a teddy bear orgy and the only survivors had had their fur blown off."

"As if someone had thrown a hand grenade into the middle of a teddy bear orgy and the only survivors had had their fur blown off."

Christopher Moore, American Novelist

Absurdity, Violence, Humor, Imagery

22

"It was like being at an Arabian hoedown with a band of psychedelic hillbillies (p. 171)."

"It was like being at an Arabian hoedown with a band of psychedelic hillbillies (p. 171)."

Patti Smith, American Musician

Absurdity, Imagery, Humor, Surrealism

22

"If we loved Steve Aylett, really loved him in the way that he deserves, a selfless love that genuinely wanted nothing save his happiness and comfort, we'd lobotomise him."

"If we loved Steve Aylett, really loved him in the way that he deserves, a selfless love that genuinely wanted nothing save his happiness and comfort, we'd lobotomise him."

Alan Moore, British Writer

Absurdity, Love, Sacrifice, Extreme, Irony

18

"Flowers are evil, because they live just to die for the love of other people. You don't believe me? Try it for yourself and see if you'll be good afterwards. Undeath is a way of life, for some things. That doesn't make it good or anything. Especially anything. Nothing makes anything anything. Because nothing is a serious matter, and anything just is."

"Flowers are evil, because they live just to die for the love of other people. You don't believe me? Try it for yourself and see if you'll be good afterwards. Undeath is a way of life, for some things. That doesn't make it good or anything. Especially anything. Nothing makes anything anything. Because nothing is a serious matter, and anything just is."

Will Advise, Bulgarian Author

Absurdity, Philosophy, Irony, Death

15

"We will then hear from the founder of the Mayo Clinic . . . Dr. Ted Clinic."

"We will then hear from the founder of the Mayo Clinic . . . Dr. Ted Clinic."

Dave Barry, American Journalist

Absurdity, Humor, Satire, Irony, Wit

14

"Last night somebody broke into my apartment and replaced everything with exact duplicates... When I pointed it out to my roommate, he said, 'Do I know you?"

"Last night somebody broke into my apartment and replaced everything with exact duplicates... When I pointed it out to my roommate, he said, 'Do I know you?"

Steven Wright, American Comedian

Absurdity, Humor, Identity, Confusion

13

"This is wonderful, wonderful! Be the bird. You are the bird. Sacrifice yourself to abandoned family values...."

"This is wonderful, wonderful! Be the bird. You are the bird. Sacrifice yourself to abandoned family values...."

Laurie Halse Anderson, American Author

Absurdity, Humor, Satire, Performance

12

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