"As if someone had thrown a hand grenade into the middle of a teddy bear orgy and the only survivors had had their fur blown off."

Absurdity, Violence, Humor, Imagery

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"As if someone had thrown a hand grenade into the middle of a teddy bear orgy and the only survivors had had their fur blown off."

Exlpore more Absurdity quotes

"Great, numbskull. Just bloody great. You've already managed to piss off the Queen. What's next on your agenda, setting fire to Disneyland?"

Thea Harrison, American Author

Absurdity, Humor, Chaos, Authority, Rebellion

"Whattaya mean you ain't no criminal lawyer? You a lawyer right? And you in here, that means you also a criminal."

Kenneth Eade, American Author

Absurdity, Irony, Justice, Identity, Humor

"I've been a little cranky since that house fell on my sister."

Lois Greiman, American Author

Absurdity, Humor, Loss, Irony

"Flowers are evil, because they live just to die for the love of other people. You don't believe me? Try it for yourself and see if you'll be good afterwards. Undeath is a way of life, for some things. That doesn't make it good or anything. Especially anything. Nothing makes anything anything. Because nothing is a serious matter, and anything just is."

Will Advise, Bulgarian Author

Absurdity, Philosophy, Irony, Death

"We will then hear from the founder of the Mayo Clinic . . . Dr. Ted Clinic."

Dave Barry, American Journalist

Absurdity, Humor, Satire, Irony, Wit

"Don't worry, goat boy. The milkman is dead."

Rick Riordan, American Novelist

Absurdity, Humor, Truth, Wisdom, Today

"Last night somebody broke into my apartment and replaced everything with exact duplicates... When I pointed it out to my roommate, he said, 'Do I know you?"

Steven Wright, American Comedian

Absurdity, Humor, Identity, Confusion

"If we loved Steve Aylett, really loved him in the way that he deserves, a selfless love that genuinely wanted nothing save his happiness and comfort, we'd lobotomise him."

Alan Moore, British Writer

Absurdity, Love, Sacrifice, Extreme, Irony

"You would be amazed how many magicians have died after being bitten by mad rabbits. It's far more common than you might think. -Angela the Herbalist."

Christopher Paolini, American Author

Absurdity, Humor, Magic, Imagination

"This is wonderful, wonderful! Be the bird. You are the bird. Sacrifice yourself to abandoned family values...."

Laurie Halse Anderson, American Author

Absurdity, Humor, Satire, Performance

Explore more quotes by Christopher Moore

"Don't be so hard on yourself, You're doing the same thing, trying to reconcile all the moms that Mom ever was - The one you wanted, the one she was when you needed her and she was there, the one she was when she didn't understand. Most of us don't live our lives with one, integrated self that meets the world, we're a whole bunch of selves. When someone dies, they all integrate into the soul - the essence of who we are, beyond the different faces we wear throughout our lives. You're just hating the selves you've always hated, and loving the ones you've always loved. It's bound to mess you up."

Integration

"Sweet Pocket, you mustn't ask about my life before I came here. What I am now, I have always been, and everything I am is here with you."
"'Sweet Thalia,' said I. 'That is a fiery flagon of dragon toss.'"

Connection

"Routine feeds the illusion of safety..."

Routine

"She can be a whirlwind of tits and terror when she puts her mind to a purpose, can't she, sir?"

Exaggeration

"That was supposed to be the whole purpose of the Internet, you know. To share scientific information.''Not a Viagra- and porn-delivery system?"

Technology

"He was a writer and words were his weapons."

Art

"But Charlie could imagine, because he was a Beta Male, and imagination was his curse...."

Insecurity

"I've seen more intelligence in the crotch lice of harem whores."

Contempt

"She's so small, yet she contains so much evil."

Evil

"By Aladdin's lamplit scrotum, man! Everything is a story. What is there but stories? Stories are the only truth."

Storytelling

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Exlpore more Absurdity quotes

"Great, numbskull. Just bloody great. You've already managed to piss off the Queen. What's next on your agenda, setting fire to Disneyland?"

"Whattaya mean you ain't no criminal lawyer? You a lawyer right? And you in here, that means you also a criminal."

"I've been a little cranky since that house fell on my sister."

"We will then hear from the founder of the Mayo Clinic . . . Dr. Ted Clinic."

"Don't worry, goat boy. The milkman is dead."

"Last night somebody broke into my apartment and replaced everything with exact duplicates... When I pointed it out to my roommate, he said, 'Do I know you?"

"If we loved Steve Aylett, really loved him in the way that he deserves, a selfless love that genuinely wanted nothing save his happiness and comfort, we'd lobotomise him."

"You would be amazed how many magicians have died after being bitten by mad rabbits. It's far more common than you might think. -Angela the Herbalist."

"This is wonderful, wonderful! Be the bird. You are the bird. Sacrifice yourself to abandoned family values...."

Explore more quotes by Christopher Moore

"Sweet Pocket, you mustn't ask about my life before I came here. What I am now, I have always been, and everything I am is here with you.""'Sweet Thalia,' said I. 'That is a fiery flagon of dragon toss.'"

"Routine feeds the illusion of safety..."

"She can be a whirlwind of tits and terror when she puts her mind to a purpose, can't she, sir?"

"That was supposed to be the whole purpose of the Internet, you know. To share scientific information.''Not a Viagra- and porn-delivery system?"

"He was a writer and words were his weapons."

"But Charlie could imagine, because he was a Beta Male, and imagination was his curse...."

"I've seen more intelligence in the crotch lice of harem whores."

"She's so small, yet she contains so much evil."

"By Aladdin's lamplit scrotum, man! Everything is a story. What is there but stories? Stories are the only truth."

"Sweet Pocket, you mustn't ask about my life before I came here. What I am now, I have always been, and everything I am is here with you."
"'Sweet Thalia,' said I. 'That is a fiery flagon of dragon toss.'"