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"We will then hear from the founder of the Mayo Clinic . . . Dr. Ted Clinic."
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"We will then hear from the founder of the Mayo Clinic . . . Dr. Ted Clinic."
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Personal Development
"Last night somebody broke into my apartment and replaced everything with exact duplicates... When I pointed it out to my roommate, he said, 'Do I know you?"
Author Name
Personal Development
"Flowers are evil, because they live just to die for the love of other people. You don't believe me? Try it for yourself and see if you'll be good afterwards. Undeath is a way of life, for some things. That doesn't make it good or anything. Especially anything. Nothing makes anything anything. Because nothing is a serious matter, and anything just is."
Author Name
Personal Development
"This is wonderful, wonderful! Be the bird. You are the bird. Sacrifice yourself to abandoned family values...."
Author Name
Personal Development
"Dangerous as a lightning strike, as lethal as a pair of crisscrossing short swords, William whispered, "You're about to find out how your liver tastes, my friend."I have tasted it already, Zacharel said, his voice its usual monotone. The snowflakes began to fall in earnest, tiny at first, but growing in diameter. An arctic wind blustered around him. "It was a bit salty.How the hell was a guy supposed to respond to that?Apparently William didn't know, either, because he gaped at the angel. Then, "Maybe if you added a little pepper?O-kay. It was official. William had an answer for everything."
Author Name
Personal Development
"Sharks to not eat Chinese people because they get hungry thirty minutes later."
Author Name
Personal Development
"To be sure, this is what generally happens when one eats cake; but Alice had got so much into the way of expecting nothing but out-of-the-way things to happen, that it seemed quite dull and stupid for life to go on in the common way."
Author Name
Personal Development
"Sometimes I have believed as many as six impossible things before breakfast."
Author Name
Personal Development
"What's with the serum?"I don't know, but it sounds ominous. We better put a telepathic direction finder on Benway. The man's not to be trusted. Might do almost anything...Turn a massacre into a sex orgy..."Or a joke."Precisely. Arty type...No principles..."
Author Name
Personal Development
"So, you invite a wild rabbit living in Italy to a party on the island of Crete. What's it supposed to do, swim there? Its little tux would get wet."
Author Name
Personal Development
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"I am not the only person who uses his computer mainly for the purpose of diddling with his computer."
Purpose
"The four building blocks of the universe are fire, water, gravel and vinyl."
Building
"The only kind of seafood I trust is the fish stick, a totally featureless fish that doesn't have eyeballs or fins."
Trust
"Life is anything that dies when you stomp on it."
Life
"Fishing is boring, unless you catch an actual fish, and then it is disgusting."
Humor
"The problem with writing about religion is that you run the risk of offending sincerely religious people, and then they come after you with machetes."
Religion
"It always rains on tents. Rainstorms will travel thousands of miles, against prevailing winds for the opportunity to rain on a tent."
Travel
"Auto racing is boring except when a car is going at least 172 miles per hour upside down."
Car
"Eating rice cakes is like chewing on a foam coffee cup, only less filling."
Humor
"Scientists now believe that the primary biological function of breasts is to make males stupid."
Now
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