"Whattaya mean you ain't no criminal lawyer? You a lawyer right? And you in here, that means you also a criminal."

Absurdity, Irony, Justice, Identity, Humor

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"Whattaya mean you ain't no criminal lawyer? You a lawyer right? And you in here, that means you also a criminal."

Exlpore more Absurdity quotes

"We will then hear from the founder of the Mayo Clinic . . . Dr. Ted Clinic."

Dave Barry, American Journalist

Absurdity, Humor, Satire, Irony, Wit

"Last night somebody broke into my apartment and replaced everything with exact duplicates... When I pointed it out to my roommate, he said, 'Do I know you?"

Steven Wright, American Comedian

Absurdity, Humor, Identity, Confusion

"This is wonderful, wonderful! Be the bird. You are the bird. Sacrifice yourself to abandoned family values...."

Laurie Halse Anderson, American Author

Absurdity, Humor, Satire, Performance

"Flowers are evil, because they live just to die for the love of other people. You don't believe me? Try it for yourself and see if you'll be good afterwards. Undeath is a way of life, for some things. That doesn't make it good or anything. Especially anything. Nothing makes anything anything. Because nothing is a serious matter, and anything just is."

Will Advise, Bulgarian Author

Absurdity, Philosophy, Irony, Death

"Down, boy! Couchant! I said couchant! No! Not rampant!"

Terry Pratchett, English Author

Absurdity, Humor, Truth, Wisdom, Today

"Who shall I shoot? You choose. Now, listen very carefully: where's your coffee? You've got coffee, haven't you? C'mon, everyone's got coffee! Spill the beans!"

Terry Pratchett, English Author

Absurdity, Humor, Truth, Power, Today

"We must content ourselves with the mystery, the absurdity, the contradictions, the hostility, but also the generosity that our environment offers us. It's not much, but it's always better than the deadly, defeatist certainty of the paranoid."

Philip K. Dick, American Writer

Absurdity, Mystery, Environment, Contradiction

"Well, I think I speak for everyone when I say that 'Alice Faye picked a peck of pepper for the poor, piping pig in the purple poke.' Wait-is that not what we're talking about here?"

Elle Lothlorien, American Novelist

Absurdity, Humor, Nonsense, Confusion

"In some warped way, having an embalmed body with us made perfect sense."

Tahir Shah, British Author

Absurdity, Death, Grief, Acceptance

"I've been a little cranky since that house fell on my sister."

Lois Greiman, American Author

Absurdity, Humor, Loss, Irony

Explore more quotes by Kenneth Eade

"Look innocent. Have hope. "Okay. "And remember "What? "Even O.J. Simpson was acquitted."

Irony

"Their lips met with a tender and powerful force. At that point, they melted into each other and Seth felt a flush of sensations over his entire being. Hands wandered naturally, and each caress became more exciting and pleasurable. Where the body ended and the soul began was a mystery in this ancient game of combinations."

Romance

"Everyone wanted to get to someplace better, wherever that was."

Journey

"The financial elite already have the politicians in their pockets, as a result of their lobbying."

Governance

"The power to kill does not come without responsibility."

Responsibility

"Responsibility comes with every relationship."

Responsibility

"He was right, and the pursuit of justice was also a game, where one man or woman employed by the Government, or sometimes twelve men and women, decided the fate of another. Whether or not that decision was just depended on your point of view. The winner usually thought it was a just result: The loser bore the consequences."

Justice

"Laura Ingalls Wilder said, "Home is the nicest place there is."

Home

"I think most of what the majority of people say is said without thinking."

Thought

"Once you deposit that money in your checking account, it becomes the bank's money and you're just another one of their creditors."

Finance